


I don't need the world to see, I've been the best I can be

by mandaree1



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Actual Issues Are Present in these characters, Aka Steven's true crime, All the ships arebackground, And anxiety, Anxiety, Bc fuck gender norms, Bc it fits Steven when he's having a bad day lol, Bc let's be real that's canon at this point, Bc srsly give this boy a break, Connie also has ptsd and anxiety and all that, Connie and Steven's relationship isn't perfect, Connie telling on her insomniac bf, Connie's pissed all the dang time, Discord funerals, F/M, Gen, Greg Universe Being A Good Dad, Humans learning gem stuff, I promise it's not just for fun, Interuptting Cuddling, It's not made a big deal but steven and connie are def dating, Like Steven being a Crunchy Boi, Me: character growth character growth CHARA-, Me? Projecting onto characters? It's more likely than you think, Most peeps: these are cute together gonna ship it, Or Sadie and Shep, Or whatever happens with Wormy Boi, Other, Pls note that this is using canon from past when it started, Post the movie, Sadie learns Gem Stuff, Semi Permifusion Stevonnie, Social Anxiety, Steven has PTSD, Steven is that vine of the little girl who tries to sleep on the sand, Steven learns Human Stuff, Steven wearing dresses, Steven's shaky mental health, Steven: i'll keep all my emotions here and then i'll die, Stevonnie and Kiki are in a QPR, The teens of beach city share a discord type chat don't @ me, Weird gem biology, Yes the title is referencing the marceline song, and everything in-between, and high heels, fite me, group chats, more on that later, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2020-10-27 00:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20751149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: Greg and Barb become an item, forcing Sadie and Steven to find middle ground between their hectic lives.





	1. Steven has a panic attack over cannolis

"-I'm tellin' ya, Sthu-ball. Cannoli's are just dessert strombolis."

Steven wiped some whipped cream off his nose, licking it from his thumb with an eager grin. "Agree to disagree, dad."

"Want the last one?"

He gladly took the pastry, breaking it in two. "Halfsies?" Steven offered, and Greg didn't argue. The Beach City sun was warm on the hybrid's face as he swung his legs off the edge of the porch, relishing in the organic comforts he'd deprived himself of for Homeworld's sake.

Greg looked at his cannoli, then sighed and set it aside. "Steven, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

A rush of panic hit Steven's veins. It felt a bit like plunging into ice water. It's stupid- of the adults in his life, his dad has never hurt him- but talk usually meant secrets and secrets meant more to worry about. More to fight. More to fix. He set his own down, no longer hungry.

"Okay," he said, and gave him a winning smile to show just how okay it was(n't). "What's up?"

"It's just..." Greg suddenly reconsidered his cannoli, shoving it into his maw so he didn't have to speak. Steven's heart constricted. It was bad enough when adults asked to talk- when they did something else to think over the words first, that meant it was gonna hurt. A lot. Ideas formed and fell apart in his mind as he tried to brace himself for it.

Finally, after much chewing, he went on. "You know I'll always love Rose, right?"

Steven stared at him, thoroughly thrown for a loop. "Yes?"

"And you. I love you, buddy."

"I know, dad. You're my dad."

"Sure am," he agreed, running his hand over his bald head. "It's just... well, I have this lady friend, and-"

"You got a date?" Steven clutched his chest. "Stars, dad, you made me think it was the end of the world! Again!"

"Sorry, sorry! I just... wanted to make sure it was okay with you."

He bit his lip. There were a lot of responses banging about in his skull- chief of which being _I'm not a Diamond, no one should take orders from me, ever, about anything_\- but it took a second to shuffle the appropriate one to the front. "Dad, I'm not a little kid. Heck, even if I was- if you've met someone you wanna be with, you should go for it." Steven tapped his fingernails on the railing. "Do I... _know_ this lady friend?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. You know Barb."

Steven's brain did the equivalent of dial-up noises. "Ms. Miller?"

"Mm," said Greg, setting his chin on his hand. "She knows a thing or two about- well, about losing someone special. And raising someone special after that." He huffed out an awkward laugh. "And, I mean, she's really pretty."

"Does Sadie know about this?"

"I dunno. I assume so."

Steven breathed out his nose and leaned on Greg's side complacently. "I'm happy for you, dad."

Greg's arm encircled his shoulders and squeezed. "Thanks, Steven."

* * *

**Group Chat: Teen Alert **

**Starboy:** sadiekiller are u going to tell everyone or am I

**Pizzasux:** oh god  
**Pizzasux:** steven what does that even mean

**Starboy:** it means i'm too akmdolsokdcls for proper grammar

**glowstix:** big mood

**sadiekiller:** I mean you can if you want  
**sadiekiller:** i'm still processing it

**Starboy:** ye that's fair  
**Starboy:** so it turns out my dad and Sadie's mom are  
**Starboy:** like  
**Starboy:** a thing now?

**Connie:** steven is midnight go to bed  
**Connie:** wait nevermind I just caught up  
**Connie:** steven what the fuck

**glowstix:** Big MoodTM  
**glowstix:** ok but srsly are u ok  
**glowstix:** adjusting to step-shennegians can be tough

**sadiekiller**: I have no idea tbh  
**sadiekiller:** steven?

**Starboy:** if he's happy I'm happy

**sadiekiller:** that's literally not an answer

**Starboy:** ur mom is nice  
**Starboy:** and I want my dad to be happy  
**Starboy:** and I'm not gonna make it more complicated than that

**Connie:** want me to call  
**Connie:** I'm staying up late to study

**Starboy:** yes pls  
**Starboy:** g'night everyone else I love you


	2. Greg adopts everyone: the 'fic

**HereComesAThot:** so  
**HereComesAThot:** does this make lars our bro-in-law

**Cap'n:** oh god  
**Cap'n:** you're back  
**Cap'n:** whos attacking

**HereComesAThot:** I don't need a fight to exist  
**HereComesAThot:** I can just do that  
**HereComesAThot:** I even like doing the thing

**TheBitsTheBits**: can't relate

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** hey Stevonnie wassup

**HereComesAThot:** m'lady kiki -tips hat-  
**HereComesAThot:** anyway lars answer the question

**TheBitsTheBits:** would that makes lars the only straight person in your family

**HereComesAThot:** OMS YOU'RE RIGHT  
**HereComesAThot:** my cister from another mister  
**HereComesAThot**: my cishetti from another family

**Cap'n:** I'M NOT MARRIED TO SADIE OKAY  
**Cap'n:** and assume a lot of me, you do

**Pizzasux:** *yet

**sadiekiller**: guys I logged on hoping for some epic memeage and instead I'm getting called out  
**sadiekiller:** like legitimately pls don't do this

**HereComesAThot:** srry Sadie i'll stop

**sadiekiller:** thx

* * *

"Where is this gonna be, again?"

"Empire City," Sadie marveled, clutching the microphone to her chest out of habit.

Jenny snorted. "S'just some little hipster joint."

"Been a while since I've been out there," Greg said, hefting a speaker into the back of his van. "Ya'll sure you want me going? I'm gonna stink up your edgy vibe with dad jokes and outdated anecdotes."

"Honestly?" Kiki replied. "Of the adults we know, you're probably the most relaxed, Mr. Universe. So you're, like, the best option for vibe stinking."

"Says the girl who ain't even playin'."

"Hey, _you_ begged _me_ to be your fangirl for the evening."

"Temp roadie, coming through!" wheezed Stevonnie, who rounded the van with enough luggage to crush the entire band under its weight and still have extra. "Jeez, Sadie. Your mom is almost as bad as Mrs. Momheswaran."

"Stevonnie!" cheered Kiki, who immediately clung to their arm with a smile. "How you doing, my queerest of the platonic relations?"

Stevonnie giggled, pressing their forehead to hers. "Absolutely lovely, m'lady."

"You dweebs always act like it's been months since you've seen each other," Jenny groaned.

Kiki stuck her tongue out. "It _has_ been months, thank you very much."

"Have you been... _you_ all day?" Sadie asked, eyes wide. "I mean, you were you last night in the chat, so I figured-"

"Sleepover," they said with a shrug. "I've never been to one of your shows before. I'm so excited!"

"Is it... okay? For you to do that?"

Stevonnie's jaw ticked. They set the luggage down. "Sadie, if you don't want me around, I get it. I went a little overboard last night. But you gotta tell it to me straight."

"No, not at all! I just... I dunno." Her fingers ran through her hair. "I've never questioned this sort of stuff before. Maybe I should? It's basically part of everyday life here anyway, and now with Mr. Universe and my mom-"

"Sadie," said Stevonnie, gently intertwining fingers with the girl. "Trust me. If every part of me has their way, you'll never have to see a thing."

Jenny clapped her hands together. "Unhealthy coping mechanisms for the win!"

"_Kiddo_," Greg sighed, rubbing his bald head. "Wait. No. Kiddo_s_. You're both kiddos now. I've adopted both of you. I know this is a bit weird, but I'm not asking you to be anything you're not, okay? You don't gotta be protectors or snoopers or whatever. You can just be Stevonnie and Sadie."

Sadie managed an awkward laugh. "Thanks, uh, Mr. Universe. You're pretty alright."

Buck came from the interior or the storage unit with an old guitar strapped across his shoulders. "Guys. Guys. I think I missed something here."

"I mean, you wouldn't if you weren't too mainstream for the chat," Jenny replied. "Mr. Universe and Ms. Miller are a thing now."

"Oh," said Buck, who slowly nodded. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Congrats, Mr. Universe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things'll pick up a bit next chapter, this is more just That First Awkward Confrontation after the news got out lol (Kiki and Stevonnie are in a QPR and ya'll can fite me on it akmdodlcosk)
> 
> -Mandaree1


	3. This one is all texting lol

**FollowMyBlog:** steven you back

**Starboy:** for now  
**Starboy:** connie has school stuff

**FollowMyBlog:** I've been meaning to ask this for a while now  
**FollowMyBlog:** can I get a QnA for my blog

**Starboy:** i mean?????  
**Starboy:** you can ask me whatever you wanna ask ronaldo  
**Starboy:** you know that

**FollowMyBlog:** ye but every time I try to do an interview you do that Steven ThingTM and are way to personable and friendly

**Starboy:** Ronaldo... that's just my face.

**TheBitsTheBits:** akmsodldocksodlcoskdocsl  
**TheBitsTheBits:** steven ur so valid

**FollowMyBlog:** Sneople- yes or no?

**Starboy:** yes or no to what exactly  
**Starboy:** yes to the designs you drew bc they were cool  
**Starboy:** no to ever seeing one myself

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** only steven would answer that seriously

**FollowMyBlog:** other aliens?

**Starboy:** yup

**FollowMyBlog:** they exist??? do they have wants????? wishes??????? galactic strategies for conquest???????????

**Starboy:** yup

**FollowMyBlog:** WHEN WILL THEY INVADE  
**FollowMyBlog:** THE PEOPLE WANT ANSWERS STEVEN

**Starboy:** bold of you to assume they havent already

**FollowMyBlog:** I MEAN OTHER ALIENS AND YOU KNOW IT

**Pizzasux:** Ronnie you're missing out on a golden chance here  
**Pizzasux:** steven y or n did you ever kill a man

**Starboy:** absolutely not

**Connie:** that's my job  
**Connie:** I can't emoji rn bc i'm texting under my desk but insert lots of sharp stabby things here

**glowstix:** dood ur easily the most chill person I know  
**glowstix:** but ur also the most metal person I know  
**glowstix:** how do you find that middle ground

**Connie:** trauma and therapy  
**Connie:** well more meditation than therapy  
**Connie:** actually no therapy  
**Connie:** I am fresh out of the therapy

**Starboy:** can confirm trauma is a great way to make a polite kid  
**Starboy:** you ever write/say smth and immediately regret it  
**Starboy:** can we please not discuss that

**Cap'n:** that's a very concerning thing you just said  
**Cap'n:** but this is also a very public server so like  
**Cap'n:** ignore mode engaged

**Starboy:** thx

**sadiekiller:** this might just be another bombzone but can we ask about fusion stuff

**Starboy:** only if you tell me why you're so hung up on it  
**Starboy:** I promise it's only twice as cool as it looks

**sadiekiller**: well  
**sadiekiller:** the way I see it  
**sadiekiller:** everyone in your family fuses  
**sadiekiller:** and you've fused with Mr. Universe  
**sadiekiller:** so I just wanna know to expect  
**sadiekiller:** if, yknow  
**sadiekiller:** my mom and ur dad did the glowy thing

**Starboy:** ooooh gotcha  
**Starboy:** well they CAN'T so jot that down  
**Starboy:** fusion is how gems show intimacy. humans have their own ways.

**Cap'n:** -cough_sex_cough-

**Connie:** ew

**Starboy:** yes but no  
**Starboy:** it can be more than that  
**Starboy:** or less  
**Starboy:** Stevonnie isn't smth as bland as sex  
**Starboy:** because, ew  
**Starboy:** but a fusion CAN encompass a sexual relationship  
**Starboy:** any kind of relationship, good or bad

**sadiekiller:** but Stevonnie is like their own person, right???? how does that work?

**Connie:** they are their own person  
**Connie:** a fusion is made out of a relationhip  
**Connie:** but it's not made UP of that relationship

**Pizzasux:** akmdlcldockdocs Ya'll're so matter of fact  
**Pizzasux:** I feel like i'm getting the alien The TalkTM

**Connie:** basically

**Starboy:** what's The TalkTM  
**Starboy:** is it when they sit you down and tell you dark family secrets  
**Starboy:** bc whooo boy I wish i'd had one of those

**Pizzasux:** the sex talk steven

**Starboy:** that literally could mean anything tho  
**Starboy:** what about it?

**glowstix:** it's when ur parents man up and tell you abt sex  
**glowstix:** usually around high school

**Connie:** that late?  
**Connie:** my mom told me about it when I was like eight

**Starboy:** wait  
**Starboy:** wait  
**Starboy:** wait a second  
**Starboy:** they don't tell you how babies happen??????????

**TheBitsTheBits:** no?

**Pizzasux:** WHY IS THIS SHOCKING  
**Pizzasux:** STEVEN UR PARENTS ARE ALIENS

**Starboy:** but I still knew about it?????  
**Starboy:** pearl gave me the basics when I was little  
**Starboy:** didn't want me 'splashing organic fluids' around the house

**Connie:** that is the most Pearl thing I've ever read

**sadiekiller:** POINT BEING there's no bad side effects or anything?

**Starboy:** other than creating a whole new person no  
**Starboy:** tho, again, my dad can_not_ fuse on his own  
**Starboy:** and as much as I love my dad and ur mom I am NOT gonna be a middle ground for that

**Connie:** does permifusion count as a side effect?  
**Connie:** bc as much as I love being Connie  
**Connie:** I love being part of Stevonnie too  
**Connie:** and if Stevonnie wants to chill for days at a time  
**Connie:** I mean i'm hype

**Starboy:** OH RIGHT THAT TOO  
**Starboy:** my brain took 'bad' and ran with it  
**Starboy:** fusion is like this endless conversation  
**Starboy:** and sometimes you never wanna finish that talk yknow?  
**Starboy:** garnets been garnet longer than most of the planet's been around  
**Starboy:** and Stevonnie just pops up whenever they want, and they stick around a while  
**Starboy:** but sometimes its like the opposite?  
**Starboy:** pearl and amethyst love each other but they nope out of opal pretty quick

**FollowMyBlog:** since we're already airing our dirty laundry  
**FollowMyBlog:** do any of the gems have That Kind of relationship  
**FollowMyBlog:** sexual  
**FollowMyBlog:** I meant sexual

**Pizzasux:** RONALDO GROSS

**FollowMyBlog:** THE PPL WANNA KNOW

**glowstix:** dood you couldn't pay me enough to ask my mom about her hitting tier 15 or whatever with yellowdad

**Starboy: **that was rlly gross  
**Starboy:** and I won't get into it  
**Starboy:** but the answer is yes

**Cap'n:** wait rlly

**Starboy:** guys they're aliens who've been stuck on a planet together with just themselves  
**Starboy:** for THOUSANDS of years  
**Starboy:** you rlly think they haven't boinked at some point  
**Starboy:** but fusion is about _more_ than physical taste and I feel like ur not getting that  
**Starboy:** I fuse with my moms bc I love them and theyre my moms  
**Starboy:** I fuse with connie bc I love her and shes connie

**Connie:** steven are you ok  
**Connie:** when you drop a lot of the punctuation it's not A Good Time

**Starboy:** ye I'm fine  
**Starboy:** just frustrated I guess

**FollowMyBlog:** sorry steven  
**FollowMyBlog:** I honestly didn't wanna make you uncomfortable  
**FollowMyBlog:** I went overboard

**Starboy:** thanks  
**Starboy:** this is gonna sound dumb but  
**Starboy:** the gems always made fusion seem so MagicalTM when I was a kid  
**Starboy:** they'd go on and on about the potential and how they 'only did it for emergencies'  
**Starboy:** and now I'm older and we do it so naturally  
**Starboy:** I guess i'm just defensive of it reverting back to how it was

**TheBitsTheBits:** steven that's totally valid  
**TheBitsTheBits:** I haven't been through half of what u have and I would hate to see the shop go downhill

**Starboy:** my issues are just  
**Starboy:** OUT AND PROMINENET TODAY  
**Starboy:** and I don't know why  
**Starboy:** sorry

**Connie:** when was the last time you ate smth steven

**Starboy**:...  
**Starboy:** SHIT

**Pizzasux:** WE DID IT LADS  
**Pizzasux:** WE GOT HIM TO SWEAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be returning to our regular fanfiction shortly- I just wanted A.) to fiddle with the text some (I love text fics they're great) and B.) give the human characters some background to fusion and how it works, since it's gonna play a role later on.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	4. Donuts! At the Big Donut!

_Donuts! At the Big Donut!_   
_They make the world go 'round!_

Sadie shifted a little, awake but already slipping back to sleep, and buried her head in a scrawny pink chest.

"Dude," Lars moaned. "Kill it with fire."

She let out an agreeing grunt and flapped a hand on the table beside them, finding her phone. She jabbed her fingers around until it stopped. Sadie set it by the pillow and tucked her hand back under the covers.

_Donuts! At the Big-_

"Sadie, I'm literally going to throw that thing out the window."

"You throw my phone and I throw you."

"Aww, but who would you cuddle then?"

"Lars, you're a twig. You are_ far_ from the comfiest thing I could snuggle."

_Push below the diaphragm!_   
_Get them happy and breathing, as fast as you can!_

"Uuuuugggghhh." Sadie rolled onto her back and hit answer. "It's like one in the morning."

"Four, actually," Steven replied, his voice muffled. "Sorry to bother you this early, Sadie."

"Is someone dying? Because that's the only reason this call is okay."

"Not quite. See, I just got back into town from a mission, and Connie took Lion, and my feet are tired, so I was wondering if maybe I could crash at your place?"

"Oh. Um." She wiped her hand across her face, snagging some eye crusties along the way. "How to put this delicately..."

Lars put his head in the crook of Sadie's shoulder. "We're having a sleepover, dude."

"Oh," said Steven, sounding a mite bit embarrassed. "I can take the couch?"

"Can't you call your dad, Steven?"

"He's, uh, he's a little preoccupied." He paused. "You know?"

Sadie knew. And, judging by the way pink eyes flickered towards her, Lars knew too. "Ugh, fine," he grumbled. "Just don't wake my parents up, alright?"

"Can do. See you guys soon."

With that, he hung up the phone. Sadie stared at the time almost uncomprehendingly. "We should probably get dressed now, huh?"

* * *

**sadiekiller:** question how often does one water a hybrid  
**sadiekiller:** how much food does he need  
**sadiekiller:** double or half  
**sadiekiller:** did everyone here die or

**Connie:** it's four in the morning

**Cap'n:** I mean ur awake

**Connie:** I just got home from a mission  
**Connie:** and I was thiiiis close to falling asleep  
**Connie:** when my phone chimed  
**Connie:** curse my need to keep up to date.

**Cap'n:** oof  
**Cap'n:** anyway ur boyfriend is currently sleeping on my floor

**Connie:** wow  
**Connie:** just  
**Connie:** wow  
**Connie:** you didn't even give him the couch?

**Cap'n:** I TRIED  
**Cap'n:** he just CRAWLED IN MY WINDOW  
**Cap'n:** (which, like, not creepy at all btw)  
**Cap'n:** and I tried to show him the couch and he just took his jacket off and yeeted himself onto the floor

**Connie:** uh-oh  
**Connie:** was he using it like a pillow or covering his head with it

**sadiekiller:** a little of both?

**Connie:** whoo boy  
**Connie:** that is a sad nest  
**Connie:** a travel-sized one, anyway

**sadiekiller:** a what

**Connie:** it's a thing he did for amethyst a long time ago that stuck  
**Connie:** it's like hanging out only with depression  
**Connie:** it was like a 11 mile hike to town from where we parted earlier  
**Connie:** and he worked himself to the bone  
**Connie:** so just let him crash for the night okay?  
**Connie:** i'll pick him up in the morning when he can function

**sadiekiller:** I know we joke a lot but  
**sadiekiller:** srsly you guys worry me sometimes  
**sadiekiller:** have u considered... I dunno? meds? therapy? whatever you might be comfortable with?

**Connie:** I appreciation the concern but like  
**Connie:** what could I even say to a therapist  
**Connie:** hey I spent a good chunk of my adolescne waiting for a war that DIDN'T HAPPEN  
**Connie:** I used to spend late nights calling my bf to swap nightmares of how we'd die on the battlefield?  
**Connie:** a bunch of promises we never had to keep?

**Cap'n:** yes exactly that

**Connie:** bitch u died  
**Connie:** u got a scar  
**Connie:** you got to have a story  
**Connie:** _you were the lucky one_

**Connie:** look I'm tired and I'm mean when i'm tried  
**Connie:** I'mma sleep and get steven in the morning

**sadiekiller:** ok

* * *

Connie seemed generally disheveled standing on the Barriga's doorstep; her hair was sticking up wildly, as if she'd decided against brushing it, and deep bags had made themselves at home under her eyes. Her white shirt and shorts were wrinkled and bunched from doubling as her pajamas.

She tried to force a smile. "I hear that sleeping thing is pretty sweet."

"Oughta try it some time," Lars agreed, though he didn't look at her as he said it. He stood aside with a carefully neutral look affixed to his face as the teenager quietly examined him. They gave no apologies.

"Connie!" half-slurred Steven, who eagerly wrapped an arm around her shoulder. His pink jacket was tied around his waist. "You're the best, Connie. I love you so much."

"Steven," Connie said, soft but firm. "You should've just gone to my house with me."

"I guess, but your mom gets all... weird."

"If my mom wants to hold onto toxic stereotypes of how couples are supposed to act, then let her. You need sleep too."

That provoked a chuckle from the teen. Steven glanced at the couple watching them and the humor fell from his features. "Um. Thanks, guys. For doing this."

"It's not a biggie, Steven," Sadie promised.

He winced and stared at his sandals. "It is, though."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told ya'll there would be actual development! It just takes a bit to get to lol. I love exploring Connie and Lars' dynamic and how it could unfold, and then there's Guilt Master Steven Universe who took a nap once and has never forgiven himself for it.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	5. Steven's too polite to walk

"Gonna be real? I totally googled flowers for this." Steven awkwardly held a white carnation between his thumb and forefinger, offering it to her. "Is this even slightly right?"

"Most people bring bundles, not singles, but otherwise it'll be fine."

A grimace passed his features. "Sorry, Sadie." He paused at the very edge of the graveyard. Steven's face paled. "Uh, where's the path?"

Sadie glanced behind her. "It's an old graveyard, Steven. It doesn't have one."

"But- but..." He swallowed. "What if I... step on someone?"

"You can wait in the car if you want."

Steven swallowed again and held onto her arm. Sadie noticed his feet rarely touched the ground as they quietly went past row after row of graves. The was the slightest hint of a chill in the air, thanks in no small part to the rain that had come down late last night. The grass was wet and slick. There were a few other people there, but no one spoke or looked at each other. It was a quiet little bubble. A tiny ball of grief per person.

"Here," Sadie said, stopping at a tiny headstone. It was flat and rectangular, pressed into the ground with precision. A little dragonfly was carved into the stone next to a name. "You've... really never been to a graveyard, have you?"

"No. Gems... don't do this sort of thing."

"Bury their dead?"

"Die, really," he said with a shrug. "We fall apart, we glitch, we become horrible mockeries of who we once were, but... we don't fully_ die_, per se."

"Steven, that is... really specific."

"Yeah."

"And fucking horrifying."

"Yup."

"What about Mr. Universe's side of the family?"

Steven shrugged. "I don't know much about them. I don't think he's talked to any of them in a long time. Well, except for Uncle Andy." He paused, seeming to realize that he'd been talking about himself for far too long whilst standing in front of a grave and tried to think on what anime had taught him to say in this scenario. "What was he like?"

"Heck if I know," she admitted, looking just a smidge ashamed. "I wasn't... around. When it happened."

"Ah. Sorry. I just... dunno what to say? Or ask? Or not ask?"

Sadie seemed to break out of her trance. "I guess... whatever you'd want someone to say to you right now, in this situation."

Steven considered it. "...It wasn't your fault?"

"Maybe silence is the better option."

"Yes'm." The teen crouched down and stuck the stem in his mouth. That done, he put it into the soggy dirt, watching as the carnation straightened and bloomed brighter than ever. "Here we go."

"Aww, thanks." Sadie set her own bouquet of roses down, ignoring the way Steven's eyes skittered to the side. "Wait. How do we know that flower won't grow up like your watermelon guys did?"

"A coupla reasons, but mostly just a hope."

"_Steven_."

"Relax, Sadie. I need a seed to do that. And I've gotten a lot better at controlling my healing powers. I can even make sparkles out of blood now!" Steven smiled, but (thankfully) didn't offer to show her how. "And, hey. Whatever this is or isn't to you, it's not your fault."

"I know," she replied. "It's just... I dunno. It's stupid. I don't remember him, but I remember how hurt my mom was when she talked about him. I'd always come by before I knew she was visiting and tidy it up for her. It was like a weird pet project of mine; keep the grave pretty so mom will cry less. Or something."

"Oh, wow," Steven muttered.

"What?"

"I've never felt so... relatable. Related-to? Both?" Steven audibly shrugged. "It's not a grave, but... there's a statue. Of her."

Something small and sharp stabbed her in the stomach. She thought it might be sympathy. "Do you... go often?"

"No. I try not to go at all." He swallowed. "But if you ever... wanted to? We could."

"Why would I want to?"

"Everyone else does," he said in lieu of answering. "Sorry. I've never been in this situation before. Not exactly. My inner therapist is doing mental cartwheels to try and figure out where to take this conversation."

Sadie huffed out something relatively like a laugh. "Well, at least there's one thing we've got in common."

"It's a start," agreed Steven, sheepishly.

* * *

**Starboy:** so Ya'll're sensible people right

**Cap'n:** define sensible

**Starboy:** it's normal to bond over trauma right  
**Starboy:** bc I've been doing it most of my life and I did it again today

**sadiekiller:** I felt very bonded with

**Starboy:** and I just dunno if Normal People do that sort of thing

**glowstix:** steven  
**glowstix:** ur a magical boy with a murder girlfriend who Voltrons into a Cool Person and fight aliens  
**glowstix:** just ride that wave man

**Connie:** I mean jeff and I have been good friends  
**Connie:** since, yknow  
**Connie:** I broke his arm

**Pizzasux:** honey that's called masochism

**Connie:** you joke but I've seen his internet history

**Pizzasux:** holy shit connie  
**Pizzasux:** you just won  
**Pizzasux:** this isn't even a competition and you Won

**Connie:** I was kidding I promise  
**Connie:** I had my fair share of privacy invasion from my 'rents  
**Connie:** I mean I've steen steven's history but that's wildly different since we were stevonnie  
**Connie:** and also it's steven

**Cap'n:** STEEN STEVEN

**Pizzasux:** STEEN STEVEN

**sadiekiller**: STEEN STEVEN

**Connie:** oh god dammnit  
**Connie:** I regret everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really fun to write Steven just... Not Knowing How to Human. And I'm gonna enjoy writing Sadie Not Knowing How to Gem in the future, so look forward to that!
> 
> Next time, on this mess: Buck bites the bullet and gets a damn chat name
> 
> -Mandaree1


	6. Steening Steven

-**Starboy** added **2Cool4Skool** to the chat!-

**Starboy:** Guys I've done it  
**Starboy:** I've lamponed my whale  
**Starboy:** I got buck on the chat

**2Cool4Skool:** I lost a bet

**Connie:** harpoon steven

**Starboy:** I STAND BY WHAT I TYPE  
**Starboy:** unlike some of us

**steensteven:** hey

**SteenSteven:** wassup

**STEENSTEVEN:** hi buck

**2Cool4Skool:** what the fuck

**Connie:** it's a coordinated attack on my patience

**Starboy:** it was funny at the time

**Connie:** steven you've lost all smooching privileges

**Starboy:** GUYS WE GOTTA STOP THIS NOW  
**Starboy:** PLEASE I'M BEGGING YA'LL

**steensteven:** oooh good idea steven

-**steensteven** changed their name to **Yalldve**-

**Yalldve:** ye that's right  
**Yalldve:** no apostrophes  
**Yalldve:** fite me

**SteenSteven:** lets be real this was getting old fast

-**SteenSteven** changed their name to **PinkMufasa**-

**PinkMufasa:** Ronnie ur turn

**STEENSTEVEN:** ...  
**STEENSTEVEN:** can I keep mine?

**Starboy:** RONALDO MY SMOOCHING PRIVLAGES ARE ON THE LINE

**STEENSTEVEN:** MY OLD TITLE WASN'T EXACTLY BRINGING IN SUBSCRIBERS STEVEN

**Starboy:** two out of three is good, right?

**Connie:** did I stutter universe

**2Cool4Skool:** okay so this is clearly going over my head  
**2Cool4Skool:** can I get a rollcall or smth

**Starboy:** Oh! Right! Duh.  
**Starboy:** This is Steven

**Connie:** this is self-explanatory

**Yalldve:** Jenny

**2Cool4Skool:** I figured  
**2Cool4Skool:** the reek of sarcasm was strong

**PinkMufasa:** Lars  
**PinkMufasa:** I'm pink and I got Mufasa'd

**Connie:** wouldn't lion be mufasa  
**Connie:** ergo making you simba  
**Connie:** actually now that I think about it you're 100% nuka

**PinkMufasa:** I'm sorry whomst

**Connie:** sequel character  
**Connie:** died dead trying to prove himself  
**Connie:** he was Peak Lars Barriga

**PinkMufasa:** ANYWAY  
**PinkMufasa:** sadiekiller is Sadie obvs, she's just busy with an interview rn and can't text

**TheBitsTheBits:** Peedee  
**TheBitsTheBits:** you probably don't know me by name tbh  
**TheBitsTheBits:** I'm the main worker at the Beach Citywalk Fries  
**TheBitsTheBits:** I mostly just read and make the odd sarcastic remark about how nothing in life matters

**2Cool4Skool:** oh shit its you  
**2Cool4Skool:** nice to meet u man

**STEENSTEVEN:** Ronaldo!  
**STEENSTEVEN:** I run the hit blog Keep Beach City Weird!  
**STEENSTEVEN:** which, fyi, just hit ten reblogs on my documentary series!

**2Cool4Skool:** you got anything about mothman  
**2Cool4Skool:** i'd love to kiss a moth sometime

**glowstix:** that's an outdated meme dude  
**glowstix:** also this is sc

**2Cool4Skool:** yet somehow still a huge mood

**Starboy:** Jenny is Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis, Onion is ︎Onion, and there's a couple others, but most of the time they're pretty quiet  
**Starboy:** the chat was originally supposed to be an alert system, and I think they just wanna follow the guidelines Mayor Nanafua set

**Yalldve**: Neeeerrrrddddssssss  
**Yalldve:** besides this is a great way to QnA about our buddies across the pond

**2Cool4Skool:** yeah?

**Starboy:** oh yeah sure  
**Starboy:** whatever I can't get to Connie usually does

**2Cool4Skool:** true or false  
**2Cool4Skool:** eggs

**Starboy:** is it bad I know exactly what you're referring too  
**Starboy:** and as far as I know the answer is hell no  
**Starboy:** but gems can shapeshift, so if they WANTED to, they probably could

**Connie:** hasn't Amethyst?  
**Connie:** I know for a fact that she spent like a decade as a chicken back in the 1800s

**Starboy:** there's very few things Amethyst hasn't done  
**Starboy:** and like  
**Starboy:** I love her  
**Starboy:** and ya'll  
**Starboy:** but I also love my sanity enough to _not_ ask

**PinkMufasa:** why is literally every question you get vaguely sexual?  
**PinkMufasa:** u've brought watermelons to life  
**PinkMufasa:** u brought ME back from Not Life  
**PinkMufasa:** u travel the stars  
**PinkMufasa:** what the heck

**Connie:** everyone's got their extraterrestrial vices I guess

**Starboy:** I'm always happy to see people being open and honest about their curiosities  
**Starboy:** but also these are my moms  
**Starboy:** so please not THAT open and honest

**2Cool4Skool:** so what is in the range of okay  
**2Cool4Skool:** I just wanna make sure not to like  
**2Cool4Skool:** mess up ur flow

**Starboy:** um... basically anything else?  
**Starboy:** the chances you'll hit on something I haven't considered/had nightmares about/broke down over is  
**Starboy**: marginally small

**STEENSTEVEN:** ooooh I have one!  
**STEENSTEVEN:** I've always been curious about ur lifespan

**Starboy:** Honestly?  
**Starboy:** I don't have an answer for that one  
**Starboy:** gems live forever  
**Starboy:** and my gem is part of me thru and thru  
**Starboy:** but I'm still made up of fleshy bits  
**Starboy:** so idk if I'll like  
**Starboy:** lose the bod but be reimbursed with a gem bod  
**Starboy:** or when I get older that'll just be that and a shadow will be left behind

**glowstix:** fuck man  
**glowstix:** like which is worse

**Starboy:** option B  
**Starboy:** option B is what my mom did to my family

**sadiekiller:** guys I stepped out for like an hour  
**sadiekiller:** what are ya'll doing to steven

**Starboy**: nothing my brain hasn't done to me already

**PinkMufasa:** equally depressing follow-up but  
**PinkMufasa: **what about ur sword gf?

**Connie:** Oh!  
**Connie:** Steven and I have talked about that a lot  
**Connie:** And we agree that... we're in this together  
**Connie:** Regardless of whether we date forever or break up, we'll always be jam buds  
**Connie:** And I wanna be by his side  
**Connie:** So, when there should come a time where I feel Ready  
**Connie:** We're gonna You this bitch

**Starboy:** and hopefully live together for a long time yet!  
**Starboy:** and maybe with... smooches?

**Connie:** Pushing your luck Universe  
**Connie:** but two out of three IS pretty good so  
**Connie:** I'll consider it

**glowstix:** said it before and will say it again  
**glowstix:** ya'll are heavy metal as FUCK

**Starboy:** the guitar is only for show, I promise  
**Starboy:** I'm a ukulele guy at heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, but I promise that the QnA chats are important! We gotta get the local humans up to date on these sorts of things.
> 
> I think I've started to realize why sometimes these can be hard- I keep aiming for these kids in normal situations, but they don't DO normal. I should be focusing more on showing how one's normal can affect the other for good or bad! So you'll be seeing more of that in the future!
> 
> -Mandaree1


	7. Connie's fucking pissed

It's easy to forget, sometimes. It's easy to set up a show to congratulate Beach City on rising from the ashes again. It's easy to spot Steven near the front of the crowd. It's easy to ignore Greg and Barb next to him, grinning wildly while holding hands, and pull him on stage. Buck tosses him a guitar and the concert goes on. It's easy to twirl and dance around each other like they're in a musical.

It's easy to turn into light.

What's not as easy is Steven stumbling away mid-glow, eyes wide and haunted and hurt. The crowd breaks into cheers at what- to them- must be a showy bit of technique. Sadie reaches a hand out for him, and Steven...

Steven runs away.

And the show goes on, a bit more tense than usual.

* * *

**sadiekiller:** fuck shit  
**sadiekiller:** guys did you see where he went

**Connie:** what you mean when you almost fused  
**Connie:** and he ran off?  
**Connie:** and you kept on fucking playing music?

**sadiekiller:** I couldn't just _stop_ mid-show

**Connie:** granted, but still a dick move.

**sadiekiller:** are you mad at me?  
**sadiekiller:** for wanting to talk to him?

**Connie:** I'm feeling exactly what I have to feel in this situation  
**Connie:** Look  
**Connie:** Fusion happens  
**Connie:** It's fine  
**Connie:** But you can't just fucking leave someone after a mess like that

**sadiekiller:** _I literally had no choice here okay_

**PinkMufasa:** can we focus for a second here?  
**PinkMufasa:** bitching each other out won't find steven

**Connie:** if he doesn't want to be found he won't be  
**Connie:** he can do this sort of thing  
**Connie:** idk if you've heard of it  
**Connie:** it's called floating

**sadiekiller**: Connie, please

**Connie:** The rest of the universe gets to use Steven as a punching bag  
**Connie:** like hell am I gonna help his own fucking friends do it too

**PinkMufasa:** Look, you're angry  
**PinkMufasa:** You're allowed to be  
**PinkMufasa:** But how is deciding who he gets to see or not see any less controlling

**Connie:** don't  
**Connie:** don't you fucking dare  
**Connie:** fuck all of this  
**Connie:** I'm done

**STEENINGSTEVEN:** so I came onto here to ramble on about the new season of Her-ra and how much I ship Nerd Princess and Angry Overlord and instead of lighthearted fun times I found explosions  
**STEENINGSTEVEN:** wtf just happened

**sadiekiller:** tell you later  
**sadiekiller:** do you know where steven is?

**STEENINGSTEVEN:** well I'm no steven expert or anything  
**STEENINGSTEVEN:** but I'm preeety sure the roughly steven-shaped blob on top of the Big Donut is a good guess

* * *

"Hey, buddy. Mind if I join you?"

Steven made a vague grunt from under his jacket, which he had pulled over his head and face. Sadie awkwardly crept over beside him, the shadow of the Big Donut's big donut looming impressive and sadly not tasty above them.

"So," she went on. "Sad-nest?"

Steven nodded.

"Room for one more?"

"Sorry, this sad-nest is economy-size. It's only built for one sulky boy at a time."

Sadie laughed. "You don't have to feel bad, you know."

"Yes, I do," he replied. "I could've ruined your show! And I didn't even ask for permission first."

"I mean... did you hop up _expecting_ to turn me into a living glow stick?"

"Of course not!" Steven's shoulders jerked. "But that's even worse. I'm supposed to be in control of my powers. That was a rookie Steven mistake."

"So what? I play wrong notes all the time."

"There's a different between playing a wrong note and _drawing someone into your essence of light and magic to make a whole new being_." Steven reluctantly pulled his head free and ruffled his curly hair. "Cripes, I hope this doesn't get back to the Diamonds. They'll throw such a fit. A failed fusion! In public! And after all the speeches Stevonnie gave them about the importance of fusion! We just got it legalized and everything." He tapped his fingers restlessly against his knee. "This is a huge mess."

"Hey, hey, c'mon." Sadie grabbed his cheek and moved his face. Steven's eyes stayed shut. "Look at me."

Steven hesitated. "I don't... I don't work like normal humans, Sadie. My body shapeshifts just like a Gem's. And especially with my mood, and-"

"Steven. I don't care."

He slowly opened his eyes. They were pink and sharp and very specifically-shaped. Sadie let out a low whistle. "They look pretty."

"I hate them." Steven gently brushed her hand away. "I only get them... when I remind myself of someone."

"Do the Gems know?"

He snorted.

She took the hint and changed the subject. "Connie's pretty pissed at me right now. I think she might shank me the next time we see each other."

"Yeah, she can be like that." A puff of laughter. "She's pretty protective."

"I noticed." Sadie gave his shoulder a solid pat. She didn't quite know how to swing affection with Steven now that he was, well, a teen. When he was short and pudgy it was easy to hug and ruffle hair and move on; that didn't fly anymore. "I've got a lot to learn about Gem culture- and you've got a lot to learn about human culture. We could teach each other. Make it an exchange student thing. How's that sound?"

Steven managed something vaguely resembling a smile. His pink eyes were faded to a dull red. "Sounds perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl one night I suddenly realized I could add Weird Gem Biology headcanons into my story and it was like. A goddamn epiphany. 
> 
> I've got some basic plot ideas- Sadie learning more about Rose, Steven spending Normal Time at the Miller home, Connie learning to take a chill pill or two- but I'm always up for suggestions!
> 
> -Mandaree1


	8. -Insert random hot spring here-

**Starboy:** I just realized I haven't asked ya'll what's going on recently and I need to rectify that  
**Starboy:** what's going on ya'll?

**PinkMufasa:** ooooh a opening to talk about my very specific problems  
**PinkMufasa:** hell yeah  
**PinkMufasa:** the damn government is trying to decide if I'm allowed to change my name  
**PinkMufasa:** fuck the Long L I'm Lars

**glowstix:** ur an adult????

**PinkMufasa:** CHRONOLGOICALLY yes  
**PinkMufasa:** wait is that the right word  
**PinkMufasa:** I MIGHT be spinning bullshit words here  
**PinkMufasa:** anyway I died as a teen so my bod is still a teen  
**PinkMufasa:** so the SuitsTM need to decide if we're going by my birth certificate or my bod.  
**PinkMufasa:** which like  
**PinkMufasa:** isn't a big deal or anything  
**PinkMufasa:** my mom or dad can just sign for me  
**PinkMufasa:** but it's the principle of the matter.

**glowstix:** dood that suuuucks  
**glowstix:** fight the man

**PinkMufasa:** hell yeah  
**PinkMufasa:** not to be hella overdramatic or whatever  
**PinkMufasa:** but jesus didn't get brought back to life to be misnomered and I'll be damned if I'll take anything less

**Yalldve:** GUESS WHO GOT ARRESTED

**2Cool4Skool:** damn jenny  
**2Cool4Skool:** without us??

**Yalldve:** no no not me  
**Yalldve:** even better  
**Yalldve:** someone with my face but none of my fabulous one-liners

**Starboy:** Jenny??????????

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** I resent the one-liner quip  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** but yes I technically went to the police last week

**Starboy:** WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** overdue ticket  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** I went down there and they took my prints and stuff  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** idk if that makes me a criminal or whatever

**glowstix:** are they even allowed to take prints for stuff like that

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** idk

**Starboy:** Ngl even after 16 yrs of DeathTM cops scare me more than anything else

**Yalldve:** why tho  
**Yalldve:** you're white  
**Yalldve:** white-passing?

**Starboy:** half-white  
**Starboy:** but the idea of cops is inherently terrifying  
**Starboy:** like Homeworld is full of castes  
**Starboy:** but if you step outta line there's no gems specifically there to stop you  
**Starboy:** Agates keep Gems in line but if they get their butts kicked no one can rlly stop you or anything  
**Starboy:** they have tech but the tech isn't People. It's tech.  
**Starboy:** if the Diamonds had had smth like cops than there's no way the Earth wouldn't've been rubble thousands of years ago

**2Cool4Skool:** fo shizzle man  
**2Cool4Skool:** we need better checks and balances for the ppl  
**2Cool4Skool:** the SuitsTM got all the power and it ain't right

**PinkMufasa:** so since we're going full Fuck The Man  
**PinkMufasa:** where tf is your sword gf

**Starboy:** Connie? Idk for sure  
**Starboy:** She said smth about getting control of her anger  
**Starboy:** Then she and Pearl took off on the warp pad with a bunch of supplies and That Look

**PinkMufasa:** When was this?

**Starboy:** Three days ago, I think? Time doesn't move the same on Homeworld  
**Starboy:** Wait I checked it's been like a week

**2Cool4Skool:** steven you know I respect your laidback nature  
**2Cool4Skool:** but one of these days youre gonna go on a trip and fall down a hole or smth  
**2Cool4Skool:** then what?

**Starboy:** I'd float out?

**2Cool4Skool:** your powers are broke. there's no cell service. now what.

**Starboy:** Buck if I can't float then there's bigger problems going on than my location

**2Cool4Skool:** being purposefully obtuse I see  
**2Cool4Skool:** I get that

**Starboy:** Relax, guys  
**Starboy:** Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran know she's with us  
**Starboy:** It's a rule.

* * *

"Pearl, I think I forgot to tell my mom we were going out."

"You _what_?" Pearl lowered her spear with a noise of displeasure. She pinched her nose. "Connie, you know how badly your mother takes to this sort of thing. You can't just-"

Connie surged forward, knocking the blade aside with a smirk. "Gotcha."

Pearl blinked at her. She huffed out a laugh, still in shock, and booped her nose. "That was a dirty trick, Connie. It won't work on strangers you'll meet in battle."

"I'll just throw sand in their eyes."

"Simple, brutual, and more than viable on a planet covered in muck. I like it!" The Gem vanished her spear and silently gestured for Connie to put her sword in her scabbard. She did so. "Now, let's break for a bit, shall we? I'm dying to get into those hot springs."

Connie shuffled her feet, considering. "I'll... go get us firewood."

"We have firewood, Connie."

"More firewood?"

"You don't have to soak with me if you don't want to, but you _absolutely_ need to do a relaxing activity."

She reluctantly shucked her scabbard from her shoulder, setting it on the ground with precision. She gave less thought to her clothes, which went in a heap on top of it. Connie flexed her fingers, keeping a quiet tally of the new nicks and callouses she'd created.

Pearl glanced up as she approached. The Gem had vanished her own clothes; though that was mostly just out of convenience than it was any real concern for the light that felt _almost_ like fabric and held liquids like fabric too. There was something inherently fragile in Pearl's build, Connie reflected. There was no mass to her. Just seamless light, made into something small and delicate to the eye. Now that she thought about it, Connie still wasn't sure how Pearls were made. Special water planets?

"Not coming?" Pearl asked, rhetorically, as Connie dipped her toes into the water. "It's not too hot for you, is it?"

"No, it's fine. I'm just... not in the mood, I guess."

"For soaking?"

"For _relaxing_."

Pearl's lips tilted into a mockery of a smile, small and sad. "Are you ever?"

Connie laughed. "No, ma'am." She kicked up a wave. "I know it's... silly. You all have gone through so much more than I have. And your situation with Homeworld now is shaky and tense as is without me carrying a sword around. But I just want to feel in control. I want to feel like I can help."

"Trauma is a flighty thing, Connie. It doesn't help anyone to compare it."

"Yes, ma'am, I know. But you went through a war. I just saw the end results."

Pearl shrugged her lithe shoulders. "The war was hard, but I've had time." _Not enough time_, Connie filled in. A couple thousand years meant nothing to Gems. "Steven's worried about you, Connie. He says the outbursts have gotten worse."

"Yes, ma'am," she admitted begrudgingly. "The internet makes it_ really_ easy to be mean."

"Maybe some time apart from it will help."

"Maybe. But then the anger just builds up."

"It's not anger, Connie." Pearl breathed hard through her nose. "It's _helplessness_. That's far worse than anger." A white hand grabbed hers, leading her into the waves. It felt like sinking into a warm bed. "It's hard to change how you feel about things, and it's even harder to believe_ other people_ when they say nice things, but you mean so much to us, Connie. We're so glad you're here."

Connie tilted her head. "But you'd say that about any human who helps care for Steven. Don't pretend you wouldn't."

"It's _more_ than that."

"If you say so, ma'am." She carefully edged away, ignoring the hurt that flickered across Pearl's face. "If you say so." 

* * *

**Starboy:** it's just NOT okay

**STEENSTEVEN:** how is the star not a uniform?????  
**STEENSTEVEN:** it's a symbol of your allegiance to the extraterrestrials!

**Starboy:** it's a cute shirt my DAD made me that I liked the aesthetic of  
**Starboy:** and yeah stars are the crystal gems thing  
**Starboy:** but it's not like every time I look at a star I'm like 'oh worm it's my people'

**Connie:** steven it's 100% a symbol

**Starboy:** CONNIE I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

**Connie:** to the end of every ding-dang star  
**Connie:** which is a symbol of the Crystal Gems  
**Connie:** which I'm a member of  
**Connie:** and I've got the tattoo to prove it

**PinkMufasa:** I'm sorry you have the WHAT

**Connie:** chill it's super small  
**Connie:** the gems and I agreed it'd be a good way to show my pride since clothes get destroyed easy

**Starboy:** Lucky :(  
**Starboy:** idk what'd happen if I introduced my magic guts to ink but it prlly wouldn't be pretty

**PinkMufasa:** the more I learn of your day-to-day life the more scared I am of you

**Connie:** good  
**Connie:** you should be

**Yalldve:** internet connie just REEKS of Big Dick Energy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some insight on Connie! Next chapter's probably gonna be another text one, followed by some actual development!
> 
> -Mandaree1


	9. QNA QNA QNA

**sadiekiller:** I know we do these a lot but  
**sadiekiller:** question

**STEENSTEVEN:** QNA QNA QNA

**Starboy:** I don't mind at all!  
**Starboy:** Actually it's, like, the opposite  
**Starboy:** It's been nice to see humans so interested in Gem stuff

**sadiekiller:** good good  
**sadiekiller:** soooo castes amiright  
**sadiekiller:** I know homeworld has/had them  
**sadiekiller:** but I don't know the first thing about them?

**Starboy:** WHOOOOOO BOY  
**Starboy:** Ngl that's a big ol' can of worms I don't have all the answers on  
**Starboy:** But I sure as heck can try!

**STEENSTEVEN:** ooooh can I take notes

**Starboy:** Ronaldo if I'm willing to share it on a very public site  
**Starboy:** I'm willing to share it on Tumble

**STEENSTEVEN:** _sweeeet_

**Starboy:** -claps hands together- Alright so first things first  
**Starboy:** There's been three Eras of Gems  
**Starboy:** Those Eras mean a lot towards builds/styles/etc

**Connie:** Personally I'm fond of the weird dichotomy as to whether shoes are fashionable are not

**Starboy:** Sandals are like the fruit cake of shoes  
**Starboy:** It's great

**Starboy:** Anyway as I was saying; three Eras of Gems  
**Starboy:** Era 1 is the original shebang. It lasted almost as long as space itself, all things considered  
**Starboy:** Era 1 is all about Big Ladies being higher than Smaller Ladies  
**Starboy:** Diamonds, Quartzes, Agates, Bismuths- the smallest is bigger than an adult male human  
**Starboy:** There's a couple of Little Ladies who are higher up, but that's bc they're Rare and the Diamonds didn't want them getting 'ideas'  
**Starboy:** Sapphires, for example, can see the future, but due to their size can't rlly do much of anything to fight against fate  
**Starboy:** At least not when fate is a Bigger Lady

**PinkMufasa:** I say this a lot  
**PinkMufasa:** and I realize it's prlly getting old by now  
**PinkMufasa:** but, like, seriously, Steven  
**PinkMufasa:** _what the fuck_

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** History is shitty all across the galaxy  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** I wish I was surprised.

**Starboy:** The start of Era 2 is kind of hard to place  
**Starboy:** The best I can say is that it was around the end of the rebellion for Earth

**Yalldve:** that recent?

**Starboy:** Yuuuup  
**Starboy:** My mom pulled an Anime Character and faked her own death, which led to the plummeting spirits of the Diamonds  
**Starboy:** White and Blue did very little work, leaving Yellow to "I'm The Manager" for everyone for forever  
**Starboy:** Meanwhile Blue basically just lived in my mom's room and White t-posed in a giant robot head

**PinkMufasa:** **STEVEN WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK**

**Starboy:** This is also when resources started plummeting, leading to a huge recession in new Gems  
**Starboy:** Basically all Gems from this Era are tiny af, and the fancy ones get to, like, be confident in that?  
**Starboy:** Like my buddy Peridot from Little Homeworld had to wear stilts, but that Aquamarine got to be super short  
**Starboy:** And any new Big Gems were much more blocky and rudimentary looking, like a Topaz.

**sadiekiller:** what kind of recession does that?

**Starboy:** hrrrnnngggg  
**Starboy:** Listen  
**Starboy:** I will never say this out loud or in person  
**Starboy:** Because it's mean  
**Starboy:** But Gems  
**Starboy:** We're parasites  
**Starboy:** We suck nutrients out of the dirt to form, leaving husks behind us  
**Starboy:** I mean ya'll know about the giant dirt hole out in the countryside? Gems did that.

**sadiekiller:** Every time a new Gem comes out?

**Starboy:** Yup.  
**Starboy:** It's pretty fudged.

**glowstix:** so if ya'll need, like, a Certain Amount of Dirt to exist  
**glowstix:** what happens if there's like  
**glowstix:** not enough dirt

**Starboy:** Defects happen  
**Starboy:** Ya'll gotta understand that Homeworld is one big cookie cutter ass place  
**Starboy:** Everyone is built the exact same, has the same voice, etc  
**Starboy:** For a long time defects were just killed  
**Starboy:** Amethyst is a defect. She's supposed to be, like, as tall as Garnet and buffer than her too.  
**Starboy:** And it literally doesn't matter, but on Homeworld, It Matters.

**PinkMufasa:** I mean Amethyst can be rlly obnoxious  
**PinkMufasa:** no offense  
**PinkMufasa:** but she doesn't deserve that shit

**Starboy:** Nobody does  
**Starboy:** And here we are! In Era 3!  
**Starboy:** Righting the wrongs of my idiot Aunts and building places for corruptions and other hurt/lost Gems to go!  
**Starboy:** On Earth!  
**Starboy:** Bc they don't feel comfy on Homeworld  
**Starboy:** Bc it's not that changed yet  
**Starboy:** But I'm working on it!

**sadiekiller:** VERY CONCERNING ISSUES ASIDE  
**sadiekiller:** what are ya'll gonna do about the recession?

**Starboy:** That  
**Starboy:** Is a very good question  
**Starboy:** We're working on it.

**2Cool4Skool:** so this is gonna hit all the soft spots

**Starboy:** Shoot

**2Cool4Skool:** wouldnt having so many Gems on Earth be a hazard to your already iffy numbers

**Starboy:** ? I don't follow

**2Cool4Skool:** since they could  
**2Cool4Skool:** yknow  
**2Cool4Skool:** fall for a human  
**2Cool4Skool:** and... pull a you-know-who

**Starboy:** oh  
**Starboy:** Oh.  
**Starboy:** Not... necessarily.

**Connie:** Want me to take this part?

**Starboy:** Yes pls  
**Starboy:** I'm gonna swing by ur place with Chinese if that's cool

**Connie:** Hell yes

**2Cool4Skool:** Fuck  
**2Cool4Skool:** Fudge  
**2Cool4Skool:** Im rlly sorry Steven

**Starboy:** nonononon don't be  
**Starboy:** its a legit question  
**Starboy:** and yall deserve to know  
**Starboy:** and honestly I just don't have the spoons to start with the things my mom has done

**Connie:** S'okay I got this  
**Connie:** Easy answer is no

**PinkMufasa:** No?

**Connie:** No.  
**Connie:** A Gem can shapeshift the parts and have kids.  
**Connie:** Remember when I said Amethyst's laid eggs? It's basically the same principle  
**Connie:** Rose made the decision to have the first full hybrid, complete with the gem  
**Connie:** And if another Gem makes that decision, that's up to them and we should respect that

**Starboy:** Unless theyre doing it to be like her  
**Starboy:** Bc some gems are Like That and  
**Starboy:** I get it respecting diamonds or whatever  
**Starboy:** _butIcantberesponsibleforanotherme_

**2Cool4Skool:** Fuck Steven I rlly didn't mean to do this

**Starboy:** sokay sokay  
**Starboy:** just lemme get my Chinese and cuddle in a blankie and ill be fine  
**Starboy:** ish  
**Starboy:** love yall pls don't stop asking questions just bc im a biohazard mentally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another text chapter! It's rlly fun to describe the way Gem society works through the eyes of Steven, but it's not always the most fun for him. Next chapter's either gonna be Sadie goes to Little Homeworld or Steven goes to a potluck, I haven't decided yet.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	10. Mommy Issues 101

**Starboy:** guys I have an announcement  
**Starboy:** I think I might have mommy issues

**PinkMufasa:** YOU JSUT REALIZED THIS NOW?!!?!?!

**Starboy:** IT WAS A LONG PROCESS LARS

**PinkMufasa:** remember that time I was a douchecanoue and u yelled at me

**Starboy:** specificy

**PinkMufasa:** the weird moss  
**PinkMufasa:** you chewed me out- which fair ye- but then you had to go on a rant about how u never knew ur mom but she was cooler than me and shit  
**PinkMufasa:** bc that made you madder than me bein a douchecanoue

**Starboy:** That was _**one time**_

**Yalldve:** not to mention that time you told us you were pretty sure you were ur mom  
**Yalldve:** and ur other moms might lowkey blame u for being ur mom  
**Yalldve:** not to like spill tea or whatever but that was pretty mommy issues

**Starboy:** Wait no that's not  
**Starboy:** Aw fudge it literally is  
**Starboy:** Am I the last person to know???

**PinkMufasa:** yes

**Starboy:** Connie?

**Connie:** I'm not legally obligated to respond to this.  
**Connie:** But in that vein I assume the visit with the Roses went well

**Starboy:** THEY'RE RLLY SUPER NICE I SWEAR  
**Starboy:** I'M THE ONE WITH SUPER GLARING ISSUES NOT THEM

**STEENSTEVEN:** you mean I could've interviewed an entire group of big buff ladies  
**STEENSTEVEN:** and you didn't tell me?

**Starboy:** I'm sorry okay I panicked  
**Starboy:** _One tried to feed me_

**2Cool4Skool:** aksmodldockdocsl  
**2Cool4Skool:** did you let her

**Starboy:** I have a weak will  
**Starboy:** Idk I just  
**Starboy:** Can I say smth stupid?

**PinkMufasa:** Steven u started this conversation with "I think I have mommy issues"  
**PinkMufasa:** You can't go much lower than that

**Starboy:** Yeah but I realize this is stupid  
**Starboy:** Hindsight, I guess?  
**Starboy:** Anyway, I just kind of hoped I was done

**glowstix:** with?

**Starboy:** Feeling this way  
**Starboy:** About her, I mean  
**Starboy:** I thought that, since I put all that 'am I me or am I just a rose in a trenchcoat' stuff to rest, things would be...  
**Starboy:** Easier.  
**Starboy:** I mean I don't feel this way when I look at her picture or anything

**Connie:** Steven do u want me to psychoanalyze this or do you want sweet-nothings  
**Connie:** I know you'll want both eventually but like  
**Connie:** Right now

**Starboy:** Psychoanalyze the HECK outta me strawberry  
**Starboy:** I don't feel bad _about_ feeling bad or anything  
**Starboy:** Mostly I'm just confused?  
**Starboy:** Like why now?

**PinkMufasa:** I mean  
**PinkMufasa:** Why did I only start crying abt missing home when we could see the Earth  
**PinkMufasa:** It's just timing dude

**Connie:** Lars actually has a point there

**PinkMufasa:** I do????

**Connie:** Ye  
**Connie:** Steven you've always been in danger  
**Connie:** Everything has always been one big ass stresser  
**Connie:** Either you were putting ur family back together or trying not to die  
**Connie:** Or both  
**Connie:** Now that things have settled a bit and u feel more comfortable in ur powers and stuff  
**Connie:** Ur brain's basically going "oh hey it's safe let's lose our damn minds" and tossing every bit of trauma at you at once.

**Yalldve:** not to like 'u too' this shit or whatever  
**Yalldve:** but connie weren't you there for most of that

**Connie:** Yes and I think we all can agree I am far from the Most Healthy Person  
**Connie:** I started reading up on this stuff for self-diagnosis, not out of any real interest

**Starboy:** Srry

**Connie:** Don't be  
**Connie:** I'd do it again  
**Connie:** But like I was saying, I've only started having nightmares about Aqua and Topaz the past few months  
**Connie:** And that was like two yrs ago  
**Connie:** Homeworld hasn't been breathing down our necks so my brain has decided we're up and raring to confront the trauma of being held hostage  
**Connie:** And honestly let's be real that's not nearly the worst trauma we've faced just as a duo

**2Cool4Skool:** QnA what's the worst thing you've ever seen

**Starboy:** I will answer every question except that one  
**Starboy:** We don't talk about The Thing

**2Cool4Skool:** Understandable have a good day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a thanksgiving related two-parter I need to finish but the new episodes got me good so here's a short thing abt trauma an suppressing it lol
> 
> Also I read some 'fics where Steven and Connie called each other strawberry and biscuit and it was super cute so here's a nod to that.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	11. Insert Pepe Memes Here

**sadiekiller:** happy turkey day ya'll  
**sadiekiller:** hey steven my mom wants you to come to this potluck next weekend

**Yalldve:** not this weekend?

**sadiekiller:** best deals the week after  
**sadiekiller:** which is her way of saying she forgot to cook her dish

**Yalldve:** lol

**HereComesAThot:** Lemme just say ya'll have excellent timing  
**HereComesAThot:** we JUST came into cell range  
**HereComesAThot:** big ol' mission

**PinkMufasa:** kind of figured lol  
**PinkMufasa:** it's only been like a week  
**PinkMufasa:** space hijinks?

**HereComesAThot:** nah a corruption  
**HereComesAThot:** there's a lot more of them on Earth than you'd think  
**HereComesAThot:** most of them hide away unless they sense gem activity, so it's hard to get to them sometimes  
**HereComesAThot:** but now that we got LH we're just. Getting corruptions out of the dang woodwork

**PinkMufasa:** ah  
**PinkMufasa:** sorry to hear that

**HereComesAThot:** no no it's a good thing  
**HereComesAThot:** I mean it sucks it happened  
**HereComesAThot:** but now it's fixable  
**HereComesAThot:** anyway to answer Sadie steven will 100% be there unless he can't be

**sadiekiller:** you eat, right?

**HereComesAThot:** ye, why?

**sadiekiller:** figured i'd bring ya'll some food  
**sadiekiller:** I mean ur fridge is prlly gross by now, right?

**HereComesAThot:** oh prlly, I haven't checked  
**HereComesAThot:** it won't be an issue will it?

**sadiekiller:** nah i'm craving burgers  
**sadiekiler:** cool with the gems?

**HereComesAThot:** oh ye definitely  
**HereComesAThot:** they've been meaning to see you anyway  
**HereComesAThot:** theyre like... rlly nosy abt Mr. Dad's life  
**HereComesAThot:** and lowkey I think it wigs them out more than it did us that he's dating  
**HereComesAThot:** just a warning they WILL ask awkward questions  
**HereComesAThot:** bc they have like no social skills  
**HereComesAThot:** but if you tell them to chill they will  
**HereComesAThot:** I think

* * *

Sadie went to Pepe's Burgers. She knew about the jingle, and knew it was a bit of a inside joke in the Universe household; and, hey, who didn't love a good old-fashioned cheeseburger? She went and she got it (plain, since she didn't know Stevonnie's likes/dislikes) and she tromped up the steps to the door, intending to knock. She didn't have to.

"Oh," said Sadie, blinking at the mountain of woman in front of her. "Hey... Garnet."

"Sadie."

"How long have you been... holding this door open?"

"Yes."

"_Okay_." She stepped inside the house and was instantly bathed in the warmth of the fireplace. Sitting on the barstools was Amethyst and Stevonnie, gleefully sharing tips and tricks from the battle. They were caked in mud. Across the way was Pearl, leaning her elbows on the counter while trying to get one or both of them to take a shower.

Stevonnie's head turned slightly, and a single black eye caught Sadie's. The fusion smiled so wide it looked painful. "Sadie! Food! Food from Sadie!"

Amethyst sat up. "Num-nums!"

"I only brought one burger?" Sadie awkwardly passed them the bag and soda. "I didn't think you guys ate?"

"I require sustenance!" Amethyst said, slamming her hands on the table. "Give me burgers or sacrifice a lamb in my honor!"

"Oh, please," Pearl said. She fixed Sadie a smile. "We're fine, Sadie. Thank you."

"Don't speak for me,_ mortal_!"

"Amethyst, I'm literally eons older than you."

"Pics or it didn't happen."

Stevonnie barked out a laugh. Sadie helped herself to the last remaining bar stool, watching the activities around her with varied levels of interest. She'd been inside Steven's house before, of course. Most people had. But it was rare all the Gems were together in it, or so accommodating towards humans. "Is Garnet gonna hold that door open all night?"

"No idea." Stevonnie leaned back slightly. "You coming in, Garnet?"

Garnet reluctantly did so. "Was just lookin' at the stars."

Somehow that snowballs into some kind of sleepover. The Gems come in and out from the back, a place Stevonnie doesn't bat an eye at nor explain why it constantly seems to be changing colors. Steven's sleeping clothes are a bit big on her, but Connie's aren't built for someone thicker than a stick, so it's nicer of two evils.

(Stevonnie doesn't explain why there's an entire drawer of various outfits for Connie in Steven's dresser, either- and Sadie knows _damn well_ they aren't Steven's, because Steven's just as fat as she is.)

(Also because Steven keeps his dresses hung in his closet.)

"That is a very big picture," Sadie said as she climbed the stairs. Rose's portrait is something she's always known about, but- well, before it'd been high up. Now it's right in front of her face. "Did you put this here?"

"Nope! Bismuth did."

"Have I met Bismuth?"

"Probably not. She likes to hang out around lava." Stevonnie impatiently gestured for her to follow. "You'd like her, though. She'd make you armor! Or a weapon! Probably something sharp and pointy."

"Your friends scare me," Sadie replied, mostly as a joke. Stevonnie snorted and shrugged in a _what can you do_ sort of way. They plopped down on their bed. "The Gems seem pretty cool about me. You hyped it up so much, I figured-"

"Oh they were one hundred percent putting on their cool mom faces. They did the same thing when Connie started coming over, but then she found Pearl sobbing over a stack of period romance novels and they kind of dropped it?"

"Actually sad sobbing or nerd sobbing?"

"Nerd sobbing. She'd just finished a huge whole long series."

"Big oof."

Stevonnie propped their leg on their knee. "Okay, but seriously, you can come over whenever you want. We've only got one bed but we've got triple the pure mom energy."

"I dunno, man. I kind of feeling like I'm busting in?"

"You think I didn't?" Stevonnie asked. "I know it's weird. It's really, really weird. And the Gems are especially weird around humans. But they got used to Connie, and then me, and they already like you. There's a whole 'nother family waiting for you, if you want it."

Sadie pursed her lips. "Why do I feel like I'll be having this same conversation with Steven?"

"I mean, you'll have to tell him what a potluck is to start with, _then_ go from there, but he loves having new human contact so much he'll probably body-check your fam."

"That is... I mean, it's not _inspiring_, but. It's a start? I think?" Sadie paused. "How does Steven not know what a potluck is?"

"I'm pretty sure all of the Gems refuse to discuss the concept because if Amethyst found out she'd eat the entire buffet and then the people when they complained."

"You know that's fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadie: I don't know how to family with new ppl; Stevonnie, a literal pro: you get used to it after a while.
> 
> Next chapter's gonna be Steven and Barb bonding! Also some Greg in there too.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	12. Heels tall enough to kill a man. That man is Steven.

"Heya, big boy!" Barb eagerly wrapped her arms around Steven's neck, pulling him down to her level. "A bit bigger than usual, I see."

"I'm a bit overdressed," Steven said awkwardly, pulling back. He had a knee-length watermelon dress and garishly bright white heels. "I just wanted to make a good first impression, you know?"

"Kiddo, it's a potluck, not a job interview." She gestured to her own clothes- a stained up blue shirt and gray sweatpants. "Just dress to your comfort level."

"Perfect," said Steven, who felt absolutely uncomfortable surrounded by so many strange people. "I think I nailed it."

"Just grab whatever you want, alright? Plates are over there."

"But... I didn't bring anything."

"Aww, that's fine, sweetie. There's always next year." Barb gently knocked their shoulders together, smiling so wide Steven thought it must hurt. "And don't be shy about introducing yourself, you hear? We're all pretty agreeable folks."

"Steven," he answered. "Just Steven, please. I... have a thing about my name, I guess. I like knowing other people know it." His ears flared red. "Oh, gosh, that sounds horrible."

Barb gave him a solid squeeze. "Sounds pretty reasonable to me, Steven."

Steven doesn't know what to do with that, exactly, so he awkwardly shuffled off to the food. Children eagerly pushed and shoved towards the deserts. Adults chattered on and on about places and people he didn't really know. There was a lot of staring going on, he noticed, chin sinking into his shoulders. He hated how hard it was to start a conversation with people who didn't immediately try to kill him. Maybe if he grabbed a kitchen knife and let them have a go?

"Heya, stchuball!" said a familiar voice, and Steven relaxed slightly as a warm hand touched his back. Greg smiled up at him. "I swear, I look away for a second and you grow ten inches."

"It's just the heels."

Greg tilted his head to look at them. "I don't remember those. You buy those?"

"Found 'em in Amethyst's room." Steven clacked them together, almost eating the ground in his efforts. "Also I have never worn heels this high and kind of hate them."

His father steadied him. "You bring any backup shoes?"

"No, I just wanted to look fancy."

"That's silly, son. They don't even match the dress."

Steven pouted. "People are staring at me."

"You're a pretty tall boy, Steven. The heels make you gargantuan."

"What if... they don't like me?"

Greg paused. "Well, if they don't, then they're jerks who aren't worth your time. If it's because of the dress, they're not worth your time but they _are_ worth a good slug to the face."

"Oh," said Steven, multiple things clicking at once. "Is_ that_ what happened with Uncle Andy last year?"

"Hey, I love Andy, but he's a bit of a dingus."

"I thought he liked the dress?"

"He did, once we cooled off and had a long talk about toxic masculinity and embracing things you love regardless of gender norms. He's a dingus, but he loves you enough to learn all the stuff he was too stubborn to learn before."

Steven sighed. It was a mix of stress and relief. "That means a lot to me, dad."

"Want some help meeting people?"

"Yes, please. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, kiddo. Everybody gets anxious as these sorts of things."

By the end of the night, Steven had had more hugs from people with heartbeats and pulses than he'd had in perhaps his entire life. He walked with his heels held between his fingers, and when he saw Barb sneak a quick peck on Greg's check... well.

He felt okay about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greg helping his son out of social anxiety! Also, I absolutely adored Snow Day.
> 
> Next chapter's gonna be a little bit of a spat. A funny one! But also lots of cussing. You'll see.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	13. The girls are fiiigggghhhtttiiinnn

**STEENSTEVEN:** wassup ya'll i'm currently hiding in my old treehouse looking for yetis to photograph

**PinkMufasa:** What  
**PinkMufasa:** Wait  
**PinkMufasa:** No  
**PinkMufasa:** Dude why would a yeti show up in beach city

**STEENSTEVEN:** It's wintertime

**Yalldve:** it snows like once a year  
**Yalldve:** and that was last week  
**Yalldve:** it's like a solid thirty outside rn

**STEENSTEVEN:** exactly! a perfectly chilly warm place to meet up with his cousin bigfoot

**glowstix:** this is the worst combo for my high ass brain to consider  
**glowstix:** but we're here and the rave lights are jammin

**STEENSTEVEN:** ok but seriously I'm bored and my toes are freezin  
**STEENSTEVEN:** tell me wassup so I can keep busy until the blur Emerges

**Connie:** oh I'm not doing much today thanks  
**Connie:** just  
**Connie:** yknow  
**Connie:** getting the 8 hrs of sleep humans require  
**Connie:** unlike _some_ of us

**Starboy:** Connie I stg

**Connie:** bitch

**Starboy:** I'm a teacher which means i'm legally obligated to say don't cuss

**Connie:** steven quartz universe I am sixteen fucking years old  
**Connie:** if I wanna say **fuck-fuck-fuckety-shit** I sure as fuck will

**PinkMufasa:** oh shit  
**PinkMufasa:** the girls are fffffiiiiigggghhhhttteeeennnnn

**Starboy:** Connie can we please not do this on a messenger app  
**Starboy:** I mean can we_ at least_ switch it to a private chat

**Connie:** normally I would respect ur boundaries universe  
**Connie:** but this is a self-care thing  
**Connie:** and I literally cannot get u into self-care without an army's worth of peer pressure  
**Connie:** so you can be mad and hurt at me and I will take it but I will take it knowing you're doing right by yourself

**Yalldve:** yaaaasssssss girl  
**Yalldve:** spill that TEA

**Connie:** Gladly

**Starboy:** Oh here we go

**Connie:** so we were talking last night right  
**Connie:** and he tells me he's got this thing going where once a week he treats himself  
**Connie:** and I'm, like, pumped? Yasss queen? Treat yoself you work hard?  
**Connie:** I ask him what his treat was this week and he says  
**Connie:** and I quote,  
**Connie:** "Well, last week I played Steven Tag with the Gems, so I think this week I'll let myself get a full eight hours for once."  
**Connie:** BITCH

**PinkMufasa:** BITCH

**Yalldve:** Oh biiiittttcccchhh

**STEENSTEVEN:** wait you guys are getting sleep

**Starboy:** I sleep just fine alright  
**Starboy:** I just enjoy getting up early to work on tasks

**Connie:** Steven u might be a morning person  
**Connie:** but like  
**Connie:** you ain't a Morning Person

**Starboy:** Somebody has to do all the things that keep this project running alright

**Connie:** that somebody doesn't have to be _just you_

**Starboy:** Connie I'm not doing this again  
**Starboy:** I said no._  
_

**Connie:** I don't mind helping!  
**Connie:** we both know I'm good at paperwork  
**Connie:** and Stevonnie would rock the parent-teacher conferences

**Starboy:** You have school stuff to focus on too  
**Starboy:** Maybe once school lets out for the summer

**Connie:** Steven.

**Starboy:** Absolutely not Maheswaran.

**glowstix:** I feel like I'm missing like three or four sentences of dialogue here

**PinkMufasa:** oh big mood  
**PinkMufasa:** but I love how even ur fights are polite

**Yalldve:** I'm getting invested personally  
**Yalldve:** Shoo his ass to bed girl  
**Yalldve:** You got this girl

**Connie:** I've offered to cut high school a bit early, that's all. I've got more than enough credits.

**Starboy:** Yeah, _now._  
**Starboy:** You didn't when you "offered"

**Connie:** I'm a Crystal Gem  
**Connie:** everybody's made sacrifices to get to where we are now  
**Connie:** I'm not above taking a few myself

**Starboy:** Bitch

**Connie:** Bitch  
**Connie:** Go to sleep

**Starboy:** I've got a lot of work to do before I can rest, okay?  
**Starboy:** That's just how adults be

**Connie:** I mean same but you gotta rest

**PinkMufasa:** UR BOTH KIDS  
**PinkMufasa:** Fuck off with this 'we gotta throw our lives away' shit  
**PinkMufasa:** How bout this- sign me up to volunteer with organizing

**Starboy:** We don't have a volunteer option yet  
**Starboy:** Gotta work out the kinks first

**PinkMufasa:** Alright I was being polite before but fuck that  
**PinkMufasa:** I'm coming over tommorrow morning and we're getting shit settled and YOU'RE getting some goddamn sleep.  
**PinkMufasa:** And before u start about the bakery I'mma bake a shitload of pastries and bring them and my crew over to share them

**Yalldve:** I'll have what Lars is having tbh  
**Yalldve:** Better than working at the restaurant

**glowstix:** groovy beats with groovy friends  
**glowstix:** also I kind of wanna hotbox ur van again steven  
**glowstix:** like maybe during our break or whatever

**Starboy:** Yeah that tracks  
**Starboy:** But ya'll don't have to do this. Seriously.

**Yalldve:** I mean if ur girl is too busy to kick ur ass we'll happily take over

**Connie:** I'll leave you to it, then  
**Connie:** Make sure to kick his heating blanket on- konks him out every time

**Starboy:** WOWIE CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THESE CONFIDENTIAL SECRETS ARE GETTING OUT TODAY  
**Starboy:** I SURE DO LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND

**STEENSTEVEN:** I mean if my toes don't fall off I'll come  
**STEENSTEVEN:** To volunteer_ and_ to nap

**glowstix:** hows monster hunting

**STEENSTEVEN:** Insert Moby Dick quote here

**glowstix:** I'll take that as shitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connie: I'm ok with quitting school.  
Everyone in a five mile radius: FUCKIN' BULLSHIT
> 
> -Mandaree1


	14. Puttin the Fun in Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!

**Starboy:** so my dad lost his hair recently

**PinkMufasa:** steven im srry to tell u this but he's been losing his hair for a long time now  
**PinkMufasa:** it's called going bald

**Starboy:** I'm not talking about going bald  
**Starboy:** I'd add cuss words but I'm tryna be a decent role model

**TheBitsTheBits:** I'm not!  
**TheBitsTheBits:** Smartass motherfucking cotton candy lookin shitheap.

**PinkMufasa:** wow damn peedee

**TheBitsTheBits:** just giving our illustrious spaceman a proper earthling farewell

**PinkMufasa:** oh right that reminds me

-**PinkMufasa** changed their name to **Cap'n**-

**Cap'n:** it just feels right you know

**Yalldve:** boo you already used that one  
**Yalldve:** chat names aren't plastic recycling them ain't sexy

**Starboy:** BACK TO WHY I CALLED U HERE  
**Starboy:** In a recent spat my father bravely sacrificed his locks to escape a gruesome fate  
**Starboy:** And it's kinda bumming him out  
**Starboy:** So I figured, hey, I'm ordained, let's have a funeral and show him just how much his hair meant to the people in his life

**Cap'n:** I'm sorry you're WHAT

**Connie:** you think he's kidding but he's not  
**Connie:** I've seen the paperwork

**Starboy:** A lot of Gems find marriage to be this super cute and super hip Earth thing, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to, yknow, be legally able to marry them  
**Starboy:** Also my mini-moms asked and I love them so I did it  
**Starboy:** Again besides the point  
**Starboy:** Let's give my dad's styling looks one last farewell

**STEENSTEVEN:** I could use some shitposting today, why not

**Starboy:** Alrighty  
**Starboy:** We're here today to remember the many years of LooksTM Greg Universe's hair gave us  
**Starboy:** From bedhead to Meeting The Parents smooth to that time he got an entire cone of cotton candy in it  
**Starboy:** It was a true unit and will be missed

**sadiekiller:** it awed children for many years  
**sadiekiller:** and those it didn't awe shook with fear every time it whipped in the wind  
**sadiekiller:** wait shit

-**sadiekiller** changed their name to **LookingForward**-

**LookingForward:** it's not the most original but it's a draft so it doesn't have to be

**Starboy:** ANYONE ELSE WANNA CHANGE THEIR NAME BEFORE WE CONTINUE

**Yalldve:** I'm good thnx

**glowstix:** this is my essence lol

**2Cool4Skool:** man I'm in college u think I got time to chnge this  
**2Cool4Skool:** I barely have the time to breathe rn

**LookingForward:** can we add Shep?  
**LookingForward:** they really liked meeting all of ya'll

**Starboy:** ye sure  
**Starboy:** is it cool if I wait until after this tho?

**LookingForward:** oh yeah sorry, continue the sermon

**Starboy:** We will all miss his lucious locks  
**Starboy:** But the memories of its bravery will live on!  
**Starboy:** My dad's hair has singlehandedly saved entire breakfasts from touching van floor before  
**Starboy:** I mean we couldn't eat it after but it was still a ten point save

**Connie:** Mr. Universe's hair has saved me from frostbite  
**Connie:** by taking all the cold into its own  
**Connie:** bc he showered right before walking me home in the middle of a snow storm  
**Connie:** I owe it my life and will promptly name my first child Sasquatch after it

**Starboy:** Connie pls  
**Starboy:** Sasquatch WISHES it had that kind of style

**glowstix:** mr gregs hair was definitely the defining feature of rock-n-roll  
**glowstix:** every time he got on stage and that huge ass mop started blowing?  
**glowstix:** miracles of music were born my doods

**Cap'n:** it only hit me in the face once while I waited behind him on a windy day

**Starboy:** A true gentleman  
**Starboy:** Trendsetting  
**Starboy:** RIP in peace 198smth to last week  
**Starboy:** And may the new, Disney-esque hairdo he sports manage to live up to even a portion of it

**Connie:** think of it as a right of passage Mr. Universe  
**Connie:** every girl dreams of losing their hair in a dramatic fashion to banish oppressive forces  
**Connie:** to think I paid like thirty bucks to do it at some lame salon

**Yalldve:** I had to sneak outta my house the first time  
**Yalldve:** You've lost so much but it's a victory for certain teen girls everywhere  
**Yalldve:** respect the rebellion and grieve the rebellion duder  
**Yalldve:** also can you throw another bbq soon I love ur hamburgers

**Starboy:** Stars bless, hallelujah, amen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I have some more serious stuff planned, but a buddy on tumblr recommended this idea and I literally couldn't NOT.
> 
> Also I rlly wanna add Shep but I have no idea what kind of nickname to give them- any suggestions?
> 
> -Mandaree1


	15. Big ol' holes in yo heart

Steven woke up to a hand smashing into his jaw. His head flew back, eyes wide, as Connie thrashed and rolled over, taking some of his pride with her. He sat up, then almost wished he hadn't, stomach turning.

The greenhouse was beautiful, if you didn't count the giant hole in it. Steven had been transfixed by it, by the aching sense of relatability. At some point, somehow, Connie had come to sit with him. And there was a sleeping bag. And here they were.

"What a mess," he muttered, mushing up his hair.

Connie was a restless sleeper, moreso than he ever was, so when she didn't react to his words he looked at her, half-expecting her to be awake. She wasn't. Her features were pinched and her fingers dug into the fabric of the sleeping bag. He watched as it tore under her strong grip.

"Connie," Steven said, giving her a firm shake.

She jolted, giving him a kick for good measure. "Steven?" she whispered, wiping a hand across her face. "Fuck, what time is it?"

"I have... no idea. Are you okay?"

"Bad dreams." Connie shifted her legs under the covers. "Aqua and Topaz."

They seemed to be bothering her a lot, recently. "Why them?"

She shrugged. "I think it's because I couldn't really move? I can do so many things _now_, but I couldn't do anything when it mattered."

Steven gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Hey, don't beat yourself up over it."

Connie snorted. "Look around, Universe. You're the_ least_ allowed out of the people we know to give me that advice."

The boy flinched, shifting his gaze to the hole again. The edges were jagged and pointy, but the overall shape was around his size. He imagined pushing through it, bloody and raw. What world would he walk into?

"I'm sorry," Connie said, sensing she'd made an error.

"S'okay."

"It's not, though. What're you thinking about?"

"Intrusive thoughts. I mean, that's not what I'm thinking about, but that's what they _are_." Steven recognized them well enough by now, having suffering from multiple reoccurring ones. "Connie, is something wrong with me?"

"No."

"Connie."

"What? I'm being serious. Considering half of what you've been through, you're remarkably functional."

"Oh." He squeezed the fabric over his stomach. "So I'm just... blowing things out of proportion?"

"You literally aren't." She gave his shoulder a solid punch. "This isn't black and white, you doofus. You've been through hella trauma- it's perfectly natural that that would affect your day-to-day life. You know what you need?"

"Oh, stars, don't say it."

"A therapist."

"Connie, that's literally my job. I'd be doing the opposite of my job if I got one of those."

"That's... not how anything works? Ever? In the history of working?" Connie's glare softened at the truly puzzled expression on Steven's face. She reluctantly leaned her cheek on his shoulder. "I know you aren't ready for that. I'm not forcing you. I mean, I'm being pushy about it, but I never want you to do something just for me, alright? Especially something like therapy. That's something _you_ have to be comfortable with."

"What do you suggest, then?" He let out a bittersweet laugh. "My idea clearly didn't work."

Connie hesitated, drumming her fingers on his knee. "You could talk to a doctor."

He stared at her. "I'm not sick?"

"I _meant_ about medicating."

"I'm not sick," he repeated. "There's nothing _wrong_ with me."

"Steven, that's not what I'm saying. Sometimes, people's brains misfire. Sometimes they don't give out the right chemicals you need. Meds can, in some cases, help with that."

"Like... for depression?" She nodded. Steven hesitated. "But... what if they don't work with my Gem stuff? Or what if there's nothing wrong with my brain at all? What if it's just a waste of everyone's time?"

"Thinking like that is kind of why therapy and meds exist, Steven. You're _allowed_ to not be okay- you know that, right?"

Steven bit his tongue. It really, really didn't feel that way to him, but he didn't want to start a fight, either. People always left after fights. "Will you... come with me?"

Connie smiled. Her eyes were wet. "Of course, Steven. You're not the only one who could use a talking to from a doctor."

And for now, that's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to go in so many other ways, but I honestly feel like that drabble will come better later. I won't spoil much, but this is the calm before thee storm.
> 
> Aaaaahhhh, meds. I've been on mine for almost three years now! Coupled with therapy, things have gotten a lot better. But I remember the doubt of taking them- actually, it was more like fear. What if the meds DIDN'T help? What if I was going to feel this way forever?
> 
> -Mandaree1


	16. The One True DiskHorse

-**Starboy** added **Wooloo** to the chat!-

**Starboy:** Sorry this took so long  
**Starboy:** I had a long weekend lol

**Wooloo:** hey is no biggie man  
**Wooloo:** wassup my peeps  
**Wooloo:** ngl I kind of read over sadies shoulder a lot  
**Wooloo:** so I know most of yall

**Cap'n:** heeeeey  
**Cap'n:** sorry we didn't get much chance to chat before space stuff

**Connie:** not to be rude but whomst

**Wooloo:** oh right I should introduce me  
**Wooloo:** im shep! they/them please

**Connie:** OH okay Sadie's SO  
**Connie:** Nice to meet you

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** Hey!

**TheBitsTheBits:** this chat is a disaster  
**TheBitsTheBits:** swing by my fry truck sometime shep ill make you some for free  
**TheBitsTheBits:** yknow for the exposure

**Wooloo:** niiiiiice

**STEENSTEVEN:** nice to meet you  
**STEENSTEVEN:** but what IS that username

**Wooloo:** ?

**STEENSTEVEN:** fucking casual  
**STEENSTEVEN:** real men stan mareep

**Wooloo:** im not a man my man  
**Wooloo:** also this one was more meme appriorate than mareep

**STEENSTEVEN:** SHIT I'M SORRY  
**STEENSTEVEN:** I was trying to be a pokemon snob and I ended up being a straight-up douchenugget

**Cap'n:** don't take him personal shep  
**Cap'n:** I mean DO correct his dumb ass  
**Cap'n:** but he's shit with names/pronouns overall

**STEENSTEVEN:** I resent that

**Cap'n:** you called me the Long L for four years

**STEENSTEVEN:** I said I resented it, not that I had evidence to the contrary

**Wooloo:** we all make mistakes  
**Wooloo:** just dont be like. doing it on purpose?

**Starboy:** This chat respects pronouns and that's final  
**Starboy:** Ya'll want info abt the next apocalypse ya'll better respect our nb friends

**Yalldve:** I was awoken by the sounds of Ronaldo stepping on his peen  
**Yalldve:** listen wooloo might be cuter but we all can agree amphros is a much sicker evolution than dubwool

**Cap'n:** RESPECTFULLY disagree  
**Cap'n:** It's a FLUFFY GOAT  
**Cap'n:** Ampharos just got a shit shave job and a Christmas bulb on its ass

**Yalldve:** call me when dubwool gets a mega

**Cap'n:** ALL MEGA AMPHAROS HAS IS 80S HAIR AND MORE CHRISTMAS BULBS  
**Cap'n:** Mega dubwool better have a sick ass rack of horns and that's final

**Wooloo:** bold of you to assume itll have a mega  
**Wooloo:** i mean id love for it to have one but theres a lot more sicker pokemon this gen  
**Wooloo:** dreadnaw, corviknight, coalossal

**Yalldve:** HATTERENE  
**Yalldve:** she slow as fuck but she kicking ass

**STEENSTEVEN:** frosmoth  
**STEENSTEVEN:** how the FUCK did we forget about frosmoth

**Connie:** I say this with all of the respect  
**Connie:** but what the hell are you guys going on about

**Starboy:** Pokémon, I think?  
**Starboy:** I have like a hundred hours on soulsilver  
**Starboy:** And a LOT of mystery dungeon  
**Starboy:** But idk about the new stuff

**Connie:** Ah

**Cap'n:** how the fuck did you not know it was pokemon?

**Connie:** Some of us were banned from watching/playing Pokémon as kids bc "it gave a false picture of what evolution is"  
**Connie:** But go off I guess

**TheBitsTheBits:** Connie what the fuck

**Connie:** Big Ass Mood

**Starboy:** CONNIE COME OVER  
**Starboy:** WERE GONNA SAVE THE TIME GEARS TOGETHER  
**Starboy:** WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

**Connie:** That is an anime ass sentence  
**Connie:** Do I get an anime ass sword

**Starboy:** No but you get a partner who you lowkey gay-marry and raise a baby jellyfish with  
**Starboy**: I mean I guess if you really care abt that sort of thing you can pick a partner based on opposite gender instead of type advantage  
**Starboy:** But my Skitty just wants to look fashionable and marry rich

**Wooloo:** bro don't you end up like...  
**Wooloo:** living in a cliff

**Starboy:** I said he WANTED to marry rich  
**Starboy:** I didn't say he was bright enough to do it effectively.

**Connie:** Alright sold  
**Connie:** Lemme just pack a lunch real quick

**Starboy:** Ooooh bring apples!  
**Starboy:** It's thematically appropriate!

* * *

**2Cool4Skool:** skiddo  
**2Cool4Skool:** how did we all collectively forget skiddo

**Starboy:** f U C K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much lighter chapter, but I love Shep a lot and really wanted to bring them in. 
> 
> Thank you to the person who suggested their username! It gave me the chance to ramble on about Pokémon (specifically mystery dungeon, which was a favorite of mine as a kidlet)
> 
> -Mandaree1


	17. Cotton Candy

Shep's kisses, like every other kiss ever, tasted like whatever they'd eaten last. Tonight it's cotton candy, and Sadie felt so bubbly as they pulled apart she couldn't help but wonder if the sugar was in her all along.

"Sleep good, baby," they whispered, bumping their foreheads together. "I'll call you in the morning, alright?"

Sadie giggled. "Dork."

She was loathe to let go of their hands, then to close the door behind them with a quiet click. Sadie craned her neck to see over the edge of the door, making absolutely sure that Shep got down the path and to their car before flicking the outside light off.

The floorboards creaked, startling her out of her reverie. Barb smiled and lightly patted her shoulder. "They seem like a good match."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, honey. You smile so much more." The mailwoman cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. "I'm just glad this one's got some meat on their bones. I was always scared I was gonna break the Barriga boy in half."

Sadie snorted and shucked off her coat. "We grabbed some Chinese while we were out. Then we went to Funland and got cotton candy."

"This late?"

"I know, right? We're rebels." She paused, awkwardly fiddling with her hands. "Sorry if I left you with a lot of leftovers."

Barb laughed and shook her head. "Nah, s'alright. Me and Grego gobbled 'em all down, and lemme tell you, it was _not_ a pretty sight."

"Mr. Universe was here?"

"Still is, in fact. He's having a snooze on the couch."

Sadie craned her neck around the doorway to see the muted glare of the TV highlighting Greg's sleeping form. His head was tilted backwards, leaving his mouth wide open as he snored. A line of drool went through his beard. "Oh." She shoved her hands into her pockets. "How come he never takes you to his place?"

"He lives in his van, honey."

"I mean, he did, but he's rich now, isn't he? Shouldn't he at least have an apartment or something?"

"Try tellin' him that." Barb leaned on the wall. Sadie saw her smile turn softer as she watched him sleep. "He's a bit of a dummy, but he's good people."

Something in her chest twisted. "Good people don't constantly hang around other people's houses. He's a grown man! He shouldn't be sticking you with the bills."

Barb stared at her, surprised by the ferocity in her tone. "Sadie, I know this hasn't been easy, but Greg isn't like that. He's payin' bills, and for food, and he gets up and goes to work every day." She slapped her hip. "And it's been... nice. Having someone else around to cook and clean. You know how my knees are."

"I could do that," Sadie said.

"Aw, you're a grown lady, you gotta do grown lady things." Barb squeezed her shoulder. "You just focus on taking the next steps with you and your band-buddy. Have you picked out a name yet?"

She squirmed under the question. "No."

"I believe in you, sweetheart." She bent down and kissed her cheek. "I know, wherever you and Shep go next, it'll be great. Go get some sleep."

"Night, mom." Sadie balled her fists. "I love you."

* * *

Steven's contact photo was out of date. Sadie hadn't paid it much mind before now, since it was rare that she communicated with him via text message, but the bright smile and sparkling eyes looked ancient. He hadn't been hip-height for over a year now.

She clicked on it, finding a just-as-old message. It was covered in emojis and promises of help. Sadie thought that if messages had a smell, it'd reek of glitter. Swallowing the sense of whiplash, she started to type.

_You lived with your dad once right_

There was a noticeable pause.

_Yes?_

_Where_

_?_

_Where did you live_

_His van_. Steven seemed to hesitate before going on._ Why do you ask?_

_He keeps sleeping over at my house. isn't he, like, super rich? why doesn't he have his own apartment or smth?_

_I don't think he's ever had one tbh. Idk the whole situation, but dad either got kicked out or left pretty young, and has lived in his van ever since. It's a unit of a vehicle for surviving all the waffle-irons it's taken over the years._

Sadie wasn't sure where to take the conversation. She'd wanted confirmation, she supposed, to stave off that shriveled up voice that kept looking for the cracks in some made-up façade, but now all she knew was that she was being ridiculous. _I think my mom wants him to move in._

_OK._

_You text like an old man I stg. how am I supposed to take "ok."_

_It's "I'm being very pointedly neutral on this subject bc it's my dad and I want him to be happy" in emotionally-constipated-teen._

_I think i'm jealous? its stupid but its true_

_Oh big mood, I've always wanted my dad to get a place so he could have, like, proper air conditioning and heating and stuff, but I always thought he'd just cave and live with me and my many murdered TVs._

_til that steven universe has killed TVs._

_Oh, man, I am, like, DESTINED to kill all TVs I come near. I've killed at least five. _

Sadie covered a snicker with the palm of her hand. _You criminal!_

_Ngl I'm kind of an anxious mess rn and this is helping a lot, can we keep texting for, like, an hour?_

_whats up?_

_Nothing crazy, I'm just worried about side-effects. I just took my first dose of happy pills and I'm stressing over potential side-effects that prlly won't happen._

_Oh shit. _Her fingers hovered above the keys. Sadie got a sneaking suspicion he'd brought it up to keep her mind off of what was going on in her living room, but it was still a very real thing. _Sure, man, I won't go anywhere. Wanna hear some first draft names Shep and I are working on?_

_Heck yeah_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick for like a week but I wanted to get this chapter out so here we are. This one, I feel, is a turn towards what the story is about- Steven and Sadie coming to rely more on each other.
> 
> Fun fact I was a nervous wreck when I first took meds bc of potential side effects. I had no side effects. I think it's just a fitting Anxiety Mood, which is a good chunk of Steven as a whole.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	18. Connie took the cat and never gave him back

**Starboy:** All I'm saying is that I'm happy Lion likes you and you like Lion but he's my got_dang_ cat and I'd really like to see him sometimes, that's all.  
**Starboy:** Wait wrong chat.

**Yalldve:** RIP

**STEENSTEVEN:** press f to pay respects

**Connie:** I will not press any such button  
**Connie:** Not while my boyfriend is trying to make me move an actual lion

**Yalldve:** things are heating up in the space warrior fandom I see

**Starboy:** Hey ya'll're sensible people, maybe you can help

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** "Sensible"  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** Define sensible

**Starboy:** I mean only one of you is a space-faring pirate so ur doing better than my family  
**Starboy:** Lars I see your active symbol, stop lurking

**Cap'n:** I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED  
**Cap'n:** we hit a rlly boring asteroid belt so it's slow-going  
**Cap'n:** hit me with that earth drama

**Connie:** It's not drama  
**Connie:** It's a very basic, sensible fact that trying to force a lion to do anything is grounds to get eaten by a lion.

**Starboy:** I SAW YOU SQUIRT HIM WITH A SPRAY BOTTLE YESTERDAY

**Connie:** HE WAS CHEWING ON MY SOCKS

**Starboy:** I don't wanna pull the Owner Card but like  
**Starboy:** Did Steven Universe trudge through a desert and almost die of heat sickness to see his cat once a month?  
**Starboy:** No no he did not

**Connie:** You literally warped there

**Starboy:** IT FELT LIKE MILES

**Yalldve:** did  
**Yalldve:** did steven just get ok boomered by his gf

**Cap'n:** #OkPTSDer

**Yalldve:** meh  
**Yalldve:** I'd give it a two outta ten

**Connie:** If YOU get the giant ass ship with thick legs then_ I_ get the magical pink lion  
**Connie:** Take it or leave it

**Starboy:** I WILL REPORT YOU  
**Starboy:** FOR THEFT  
**Starboy:** OF BASIC LION RIGHTS

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** so like  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** why not do that thing where you put the pet in the middle  
**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** and pspspspspspps that boi until he picks a side

**Starboy:** I'm not legally obligated to answer that

**Connie:** Bc he loses  
**Connie:** Every time

**Starboy:** YOU SMELL LIKE ALL THE DELISH FOOD UR MOM MAKES  
**Starboy:** AND THOSE DUMPLINGS YOU MAKE HIM  
**Starboy:** AND IT'S NOT **FAIR**

**Connie:** Momos, Steven  
**Connie:** Momos  
**Connie:** Call me when you stop fooling with those cheap ass lion lickers

**Starboy:** I WANT A DIVORCE

**Connie:** I MEAN IF YOU WANNA PLAY YOU CAN PLAY  
**Connie:** BUT LION IS OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS IN COURT  
**Connie:** AND IS HE GONNA CHOOSE MOMOS OR SHITTY ICE CREAM SANDWICHES

**Starboy:** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

**Connie:** MY CAT NOW BITCH

**Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis:** This escalated quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this my official response to the horribly sad leak that's come out recently. Also I will never be over Connie getting Lion in their kid divorce, and neither will Steven, apparently.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	19. C: Ur So Hot When U Show Genuine Interest

"Oh, sure, _you_ can bitch and moan about astronaut food being shit all day, but I mention _one time_ that veggie bacon isn't nearly as tasty and suddenly you're a connoisseur of powders?"

Connie barely surprised a fit of laughter as she closed the newly-built garden room door behind her. "I'm going to assume I'm not busting into anything important." She tossed her math bucks on the table and sat down beside Steven's legs, which were poking out from under the transmitter near the warp pad.

Steven tilted the phone's microphone away from his mouth. "Lars being Lars," he reported, then went back to it. "I don't care how much artificial stuff is in it, there's absolutely no way space meat is any more vegetarian than regular meat, and you can quote me on that regardless of accuracy."

Connie grabbed one holographic screen from the table and started paging through it. Half the functions were down from fiddling. "Jesus, Steven, did you tear out the interface?"

"I have no idea," Steven admitted. "No, I'm not talking to you. Connie is here. Connie has told me that if I ever refer to making out as 'canoodling' then she will canoodle my ass into the ocean, so no. Yes, I'm whipped. It's great. Call me when you and Emerald finally get around to making safe words." Steven abruptly hit end call, tucking his phone into his jacket. "Connie. Solar fire. Lava to my volcano."

"You have no idea what you did, do you?"

"Absolutely no idea."

Connie snorted. "The human has to fix the alien tech once again, does she?"

"Peridot will make fun of how bad my tech is. You won't make fun of my tech, will you?"

"No, just you."

Steven awkwardly shuffled his butt out from under the system. "I can handle that."

"You cuss a lot more with Lars," Connie noted, taking his place with the little screen. "It's weird."

"Bad weird?"

"Just weird. Remember when you said fuck and tried to turn yourself in to the police?"

"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "I dunno. I guess I've just felt more... energetic lately? I still get tired easily, but I also wanna get up and do things."

"Like tearing up your intercom?"

"I was trying to secure a more stable line to Homeworld, actually. Lars was moving planetary satellites to make it clearer. Now it's just a matter of connecting things." Steven rubbed his chin. "I've been thinking, and I feel like the palace is being underutilized right now. I mean, we could broadcast all sorts of stuff from there!"

Connie twisted a glowing wire in a different direction. It pulsed like a living organ. "Like cartoons?"

"Well, yeah, but stuff like laws and ideas. Homeworld still has a lot to learn about being free, you know? We could broadcast classes with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and PSAs, and even concepts for laws to vote on. The Diamonds aren't in charge anymore, but their words still hold a lot of weight in the galaxy, and I feel like we've left a lot of Gems listless."

She paused, inching out from under the com. Steven seemed surprised as she took his hands. "Steven, are you... helping? Because you want to?"

"Well, yeah, I guess? It's kind of my job, but..." Steven hummed to himself. "I want to do it, too. Like. A lot."

Connie squeezed his fingers and said nothing.

"I think... well, I've been doing _a lot_ of thinking, and I hate not having stuff to do. I want to be busy. I want to learn, and grow. I want to feel like a whole person again." He sheepishly took one hand away to wipe his eyes, which had begun to get a smidge bit wet. "I haven't felt like this in... gosh, it's been years. The meds have been doing more than I thought they would, honestly. And maybe... maybe therapy? Eventually? I'm still not ready, but... I know I could be."

A thin hand took his wrist, and before Steven knew it Connie was pulling him forward, pressing a heavy kiss to his lips. Steven stiffened, then loosened, pulling her closer. When they drifted apart, they kept their foreheads against each other.

"This," said Connie, "Is the Steven Universe I fell in love with. Stars, I missed him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some cute Connverse to tide ya'll over while we wait for tonight's new episodes!
> 
> Man, my first wind after getting on meds was a fucking trip. I didn't fully notice something had changed until I busted a gut laughing in a grocery store parking lot and thought 'holy shit, I haven't done this is years'. It's not a magical cure-all, but it's a great start.
> 
> -Mandaree1


	20. Bust Ur Kneecaps (Again)

**Starboy:** so I've been pretty absent lately

**LookingForward:** We noticed  
**LookingForward:** Also I have a random missed call from you?  
**LookingForward:** But when I texted u abt it u never answered  
**LookingForward:** You sounded rlly bad in the voicemail

**Starboy:** I'd really not talk about it  
**Starboy:** I'm doing better now  
**Starboy:** Comparably

**Connie:** oh u sent her a message but no me?

**Starboy:** Connie you know that's different  
**Starboy:** I was panicking and I knew dad was at her house  
**Starboy:** It wasn't that big of a deal

**Connie:** YOU WERE MISSING  
**Connie:** FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS

**Cap'n:** I leave Earth for epic space adventures and Steven goes AWOL!?

**Starboy:** I went CAMPING thank you very much  
**Starboy:** It was an intense journey of self-discovery.  
**Starboy:** During which I realized I'm kind of meh  
**Starboy:** Like I've walked the same walk for so long and all its gotten me is a dad bod and self-esteem issues

**Connie:** it's a cute dad bod

**Starboy:** Appreciated but not the point  
**Starboy:** I wanna do better by myself  
**Starboy:** I wanna feel better about doing better by myself  
**Starboy:** Which is my long-winded way of asking if smashing your head into a control panel at light speed will crack it

**TheBitsTheBits:** I'm sorry _whomst_

**Starboy:** It's a very serious question with a straightforward answer

**Yalldve:** its both of those but its also batshit insane steven

**Starboy:** Ok look  
**Starboy:** It's recently come to my attention that I should probably be dead  
**Starboy:** So I'm trying to parcel out what kind of wounds did what to my bones

**glowstix:** what happened to ur bones bro

**Starboy: That's literally what I'm trying to find out sour cream**

**Cap'n:** I'm not boneologist or anything  
**Cap'n:** Nor am I schooled in the ways of physics  
**Cap'n:** But I feel like it's safe to assume that would make a head pop like a balloon, yes

**Starboy:** Ok sick  
**Starboy:** What about a drop

**Yalldve:** how big we talkin  
**Yalldve:** like off a table or off a plane

**Starboy:** I don't have exact measurements but plane is a good bet

**Yalldve:** u dead son

**Starboy:** Ok but what would that break

**Cap'n:** I mean what did you fall on

**Starboy:** Connie?

**Connie:** Yes.  
**Connie:** You fell on your Yes.

**Cap'n:** I'm no doctor but I'm going to assume all the things

**Yalldve:** smh not a doctor not a physics person not a boneologist  
**Yalldve:** get yo ass back to school lars

**Cap'n:** _I have a very specific set of skills okay_

**Starboy:** Holy shit  
**Starboy:** I never noticed before today but humans are absolute weaksauce  
**Starboy:** You couldn't pay someone to main a human

**Cap'n:** you could pay many people to maim a human

**Starboy:** main lars  
**Starboy:** I was making a overwatch joke

**Cap'n:** jfc that's even worse

**Connie:** Steven how could you shame me like this  
**Connie:** In front of all our peers

**Starboy:** IT'S A FUN GAME

**Connie:** IT'S AN OUTDATED MEME  
**Connie:** THE GEMS PROBABLY SAW THIS MEME IN THE 1800S

**Starboy:** DON'T BE SO _BROKEN UP_ ABOUT IT

**Connie:** STEVEN I WILL SMASH YOUR SKULL MYSELF

**Starboy:** GO AHEAD UR NOT EVEN THE FIRST CUTE GIRL TO DO IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm losing my mind over the finale that is officially happening, so here's this. (And, yes, the call was the night of Fragments, and no, I am not brushing off the horrible things that happened that night- it's just not smth Steven or Sadie would bring up in a public discord- Sadie only brought it up here bc Steven went MIA right after)
> 
> I promise there's a reason I haven't updated! I wanna see how the show ends so I can properly incorporate it into the story. The basic plot hasn't changed but a lot of the little details might just.
> 
> See you on the other side, ya'll!
> 
> -Mandaree1

**Author's Note:**

> Y'know that vine of the little girl saying 'I'M TAKING A NAP GOODNIGHT' and curling up on the sand? That's it that's Steven.
> 
> Also I imagine the kids of Beach City get a group discord to pass on Gem-related warnings lol
> 
> -Mandaree1


End file.
